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A Woman's Relationship to Money
Why It's Different Than a Man's
By Mary Kay Dirickson
But sometimes, women do see money as a friend or at least as a pretty good substitute. While the phrase "retail therapy" may be meant as a joke, women are still more likely to shop for recreation, to alleviate boredom or to boost their mood.
"Money and emotions are closely tied together, and it really shows," Wall says. "We get intertwined with those money issues, and men are much better at compartmentalizing."
Because of the emotional lift that shopping gives women, they tend to do it more often. In a 2000 study done by an Iowa State University researcher, about 36 percent of women impulsively buy things they don't need, compared to 18 percent of men. The same study shows that women are more likely to say that money interferes with their personal relationships and that they are more likely to consider shopping to be an event.
"I have a friend who went into a department store with her husband to buy him a pair of pants," Wall says. "Just as they walked in, she saw a shirt and said, 'Honey, this shirt would look really good on you.' And he just gave her a blank stare and said, 'But we're here to buy pants.'"
Wall says, half-joking, that there may be prehistoric roots to the way women shop. "Men have more of a target focus: 'We're here to hunt pants,'" she says. "But women are more like gatherers, surveying the whole scene."
But no matter what the psychological justifications for spending, poor decision-making can still lead to debt trouble.
Differences in spending styles tend to be expressed when couples divide their financial responsibilities. In general, wives tend to be responsible for household discretionary spending like bills and groceries, while husbands manage investments and big items, like the mortgage. This division can result in the stereotype that women are frivolous spenders.
"Women buy a lot of the things their families need and that enhance the family's life that men might see as frivolous," Wall says. "More the parsley on the plate, rather than the meat and potatoes."
Wall saysthis can also put women at a disadvantage in the long run. Previous generations retired with company pension plans, but a modern family's future depends on good investments. If the wife's only responsibility is spending, she may not understand the broader picture of the family's finances if there is a death or divorce.
