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Crossing the Line
When Shopping Becomes a Compulsion By Stacey Porto
(Walker & Company, 1997). She uses an assignment called the money dialogue where a conversation is generated (written or spoken) between the person and money, and then at least three voices comment on the dialogue, for example: a mother, ex-spouse, child or any other strong influences. The dialogue ends with a comment from a final voice, some higher power, and deeper wisdom. "You can do the money dialogue once a week or once a day to help you figure out the emotional piece of your relationship with money," says Mellan. She explains that your conversations with money, where you are, where you've been and where you need to go, evolve as your awareness evolves.
Karen McCall, founder of the Financial Recovery Counseling Institute and author of It's Your Money: Achieving Financial Well-Being (Chronicle Books LLC, 2000), helps individuals develop a spending plan that focuses on the "whole" person. She teaches basic money-management skills, as well as addresses the emotional components of a person's relationship with money, which may be driving self-defeating money patterns.
She says that when a person is dysfunctional with money, they may be living in deprivation. Their basic needs (medical care, keeping a car safely maintained and taking regular time for relaxation) are not being taken care of. "We help to identify these areas of deprivation and how they spend money in those areas," says McCall. She says by taking care of basic needs along with building strong money management skills, self-esteem will result. "It gives people the opportunity to start making strong choices rather than going through life frittering away their money unconsciously," says McCall.
I am recovering from this addiction. Like a food addict, you just can't give up food forever. It's the same with spending. Somehow it has to be managed. But being aware that I have a spending problem and knowing that it doesn't support who and what I want to be gives me a new direction in life. Fighting off the compulsion to shop is ongoing, and I have to replace these urges with healthy activities such as writing, listening to music, walking, going out with friends or watching movies. I have gone on a budget which tracks every penny including a week-by-week spending plan so that I can save money, pay my bills on time and live comfortably.