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Moms and Money Matters
Increasing Your Financial Proficiency
By Gina Roberts-Grey, LCSW
"I always worked to take care of the kids, the dogs and make sure the house ran smoothly," Derby says. "He always worked to earn a paycheck. I was shocked when I realized that I had no idea of how much it took month to month to run our household. I didn't know where the insurance policies were or the various due dates of most of our bills."
Whether you want to assume responsibility for all, part or specific aspects of your financial matters, you need to gather the facts and collect the pertinent data. Proactive participation in your family's financial matters will provide everyone security and reduce your anxiety in the event you should have to shoulder a part of your family's financial responsibility.
A common goal among mothers is to share errands and other household responsibilities with their co-parents. Just as you discuss sharing the workload of running weekend errands, you also should share in your family's financial duties. Look at exchanging financial information the same way you'd share how your child performed on a math test.
Talking about how much you're saving monthly and the balance of your combined IRA, 401(k), money market or checking accounts puts you and your partner on the same page. It also is important that both of you have a clear understanding of what it takes to run your household.
"A realistic understanding of household expenses prevents many disagreements and reduces the strain that financial matters put on a relationship," says Amy Stotz, a member of The National Marriage and Family Therapists Association, from Indianapolis, Ind. "Financial matters are one of the top wedges between couples. Formulating a jointly understood and agreed upon financial plan removes the guilt, doubt and pressure to be singularly in control."
Periodically reviewing the bank statements, monthly bills and investment accounts helps both of you stay on the same page. Although it is likely that one partner will assume most of the bill payment and account reconciliation duties, sitting together to pay bills online or write out checks once a quarter provides additional security and information.