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Home › Dad of the Month

Dominick Bocelli

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

Our choice for July is Dominick Bocelli, father of twins.

Dominick and Lila When Dominick arrives home from his job as an Air Traffic Controller in South Orange, N.J., nothing makes him happier than being greeted at the door by his twins, Clarisse and Chance. "Nothing, and I mean nothing, can beat two 20-month-olds running to the door proclaiming 'Daddy!' the minute I walk in from work," says Dominick. "(Their) Mom still gets the first kiss, but the twins get the first real smile."

"I laugh from the time he walks in the door until bedtime," says Dominick's wife, Lila. "Because it is like Romper Room in our home: learning, playing, singing, dancing, reading and laughing. With Daddy as the leader of the group! I have never seen another person so happy to play Legos and dolls like he does."

A Bump In The Road
When Dominick and Lila decided they wanted to start a family, they were hit with the devastating news that Lila had stage-4 endometriosis, a condition where the uterine tissue grows outside of the uterus. "I had three lapascopes to try to correct the problem, and needless to say they did not work," says Lila. "I had to have my tubes removed, which made the only way we could get pregnant via IVF (in-vitro fertilization)."

In-vitro fertilization is a procedure where a woman's eggs are retrieved and combined with sperm to fertilize in the laboratory. Any fertilized eggs, called embryos, are returned to the uterus. IVF is an expensive procedure, and is often not covered by health insurance.

Dominick began working overtime to save money for the procedure. The couple were crushed when the first cycle of IVF did not work, but they did not give up. "Dominick gave me hope, he made me smile and he always helped me through the hard times," says Lila. "So he went back to working a lot more overtime so that we could try again."

The next try at IVF worked, and Lila was pregnant with a set of twins. This is when Dominick set into action. "While I was pregnant, Dominick was very caring and giving to all of mine and the babies' needs. He cooked, cleaned, worked his job, never missing a day, and still kept smiling all the time."

the twins When it was time for the babies to be born, he took a leave from his job to prepare the babies' nursery. "He painted the room, put in a new ceiling, a new ceiling fan, new carpet, the cribs, the dressers -- everything the babies and I would ever need!" says Lila. "We had a wonderful time finger painting the babies' room with pastel colors. I must say, he did a wonderful job!"

Dominick did not falter through Lila's 23 hours of labor, or her emergency C-section. He never left her side. "He was overwhelmed with joy when the babies were born," says Lila. "I could truly see the love for his children in his eyes and smile."

Infertility: A Growing Problem
Infertility is a problem faced by many couples. According to the article The Most Common Myths About Infertility, one in six couples have a problem conceiving a child. But with today's medical advances, 80 percent of these couples can be helped. Women who undergo IVF are having much higher success rates than when the procedure was first introduced, with some clinics reporting success rates near 50 percent in women younger than age 35.

"If the doctors find the problem to be with your partner, realize that the problem may be coming from their body, but that the problem is both of theirs," advises Lila. "Never point blame. For if one in a couple has an infertility problem it makes the couple infertile." Lila also suggests couples read all they can about infertility. "Read and learn all you can about what is happening to your body, and ask all the questions you can. DO NOT ever let your doctor tell you that you cannot be a mother or a father, there is always a way, you just need to find it. Never give up on your dreams."

the twins Dominick's advice to couples experiencing infertility is to not get discouraged. "And whatever you do, don't give up until you are truly ready to do so," he says. "We had always said to ourselves in conversations that if we had not tried one more time, there would be a question hanging over our heads for the rest of our lives. Fortunately, our second attempt at in-vitro fertilization was a charm, but we are preparing for round three."

Round three of in-vitro was a success for Dominick and Lila. Lila is now pregnant with one baby, due January 13, 2001. "I've had two checkups after being discharged from the infertility doctors. The OB/GYN is very happy with the pregnancy. In his words, 'this is a very boring pregnancy, just the way we like them.'"

Dominick could not be more thrilled to be adding to his family. "He is the most unbelievable man in the world," says Lila. "He always stops in his tracks to help his children. He always shows them the love that is in his heart. He never takes one second of his time for granted when he is with his family. A father is not a 'bread winner'; anyone can do that. A father is a person that gives of himself and asks nothing in return but the happiness of his family."

Dominick's family "Provider, protector, teacher, counselor -- and that just scrapes the surface," answers Dominick, when asked what being a father means to him. "I'm constantly overjoyed with each and every little accomplishment, and whenever my children become frustrated with a new task, I feel their concern, too."

Dominick spends all his waking time that he is not at work with his daughter and son. The trio plays together, reads together and sings together. "After waiting so long to have children of our own, we've learned to enjoy every minute possible, even if it's just reading The Pokey Little Puppy for the thousandth time," says Dominick. Bruising his knees while crawling around the dining room table playing tag; doing 50 laps through the dining room; reciting the alphabet at least 10 times a day; counting to 20 at least 10 times each; and doing some "baby-forearm curls" are all in a day's work for Dominick. "And we just discovered laundry basket bumper cars, too. VROOOM!"

Dominick's children are truly the joys of his life. "I'm just making the most of our miracle," he says.

"I wish I could bottle all the love that those three have for each other," says Lila. "If I could, the world would be a very happy place."

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