Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

Our choice for October is Peter Stencavage, a stay-at-home dad of one.

When Darla Stencavage, a captain in the U.S. Army stationed in Fort Rucker, Ala., leaves for work, she has no doubt that her 2 ½-year-old daughter, Katherine, will be well cared for. Darla does not drop her daughter off at the local daycare center, at a home-based daycare, or have someone come to her house to watch her daughter. Her husband, Peter Stencavage, an active and loving stay-at-home dad (SAHD), cares for Katherine. The arrangement works out perfectly for this not-so-traditional family.

"I am so happy about it!" says Darla. "He is a wonderful caregiver and nurturer for me and my daughter and it really eases my mind. It was important for us to raise our own children, and I would have had to quit work if he had not been willing to stay home."

Peter takes his role as a full-time SAHD dad very seriously. "People shouldn't judge you or stereotype you just because you are a father taking care of your child and assume you don't know what you're doing," he says.

"I am always receiving compliments on him, and many other moms have expressed their desire for their husbands to be so involved," says Darla. "I am proud of him and he impresses me daily."

Peter not only takes his role as father seriously, but also attends functions traditionally only attended by wives. "As a spouse of a commander of an Army company, the 'wife' is usually expected to organize and lead the unit's family support group and participate in the 'wives' activities," says Darla. "Peter has always been extremely supportive of me and has taken on these tasks although he is usually the only male in attendance, and is often the first male to ever have attended."

His participation in these groups has raised people's awareness about stay-at-home dads, and has even changed the way some people think. When Peter joined the club for spouses, the officers changed the name from "Officers Wives' Club" to "Officers and Civilians Spouses' Club." Peter hopes this will make more men join the club.

Peter also can be found at the local "Mom and Me" playgroup, now known as "Tot Time" because of his dedication to his daughter. "The most wonderful thing is that he never asks for the name changes or for special treatment. He only quietly does what is best for our daughter and our family, and people are inspired by his dedication," says Darla.

Deciding to Be a Stay-At-Home Dad
"I don't think that it is for everyone -- men or women," says Peter. "It requires much patience. Also one should look at it as a job and not just a temporary position while looking for another job."

Darla advises dads considering staying home with their children to be prepared to be left out. "It seems like some women don't want to get too 'friendly' with stay-at-home dads and won't invite them to play groups or come over and talk to them at the playground," she says. "I think some women are afraid of how it would look to have a man at their home while their husbands are away, or some husbands may not want their wives to associate with males while they are at work." She also cautions wives to consider that their husbands will be dealing mainly with women on a day-to-day basis. "I'd suggest that men don't forget to remind their wives that they are only interested in them, so it heads off any insecurities that may arise because of it."

Challenges of a Stay-At-Home Dad
The number of stay-at-home dads grows each year. According to the U.S. census, approximately 2 million men are choosing this non-traditional role and caring for their children. But, while the numbers grow, stay-at-home dads still face many challenges.

"The challenges facing SAHDs comes from society's view of what role the man should and should not play in the family," says Curtis Cooper, the found of Dad-to-Dad, a newsletter for stay-at-home dads. "Many men and women still believe that it is the woman's place to stay home and raise the children." Cooper does not believe that society holds all the blame for people feeling this way. "Men need to change their value structure and place parenting above career. Until this happens, the biggest challenge facing any at-home parent will be their own self worth."

Cooper does believe that support for SAHDs is growing. He attributes much of that to the Internet. "There are a growing number of at-home dad groups springing up around the country, and the Internet is helping keep them connected."

Web sites such as Dads Today and Dad-to-Dad offer fathers a way to connect with other men, whether they stay at home with their children or not. At Dads Today, fathers and fathers-to-be can chat with men who have similar interests on various discussion boards and e-mail lists, and even keep a diary on their adventures with their children. Questions can be answered by parenting experts, and informative articles written with their concerns and issues in mind will help them in all areas of parenting.

Being Accepted
Darla believes that stay-at-home dads will be more accepted as more people see they are capable, active and nurturing role models for their children. "I think it will be more accepted when people start seeing them more often, and when it is seen as a lifestyle choice rather than something some fathers are just doing until something better comes along." She also feels that stay-at-home parents -- men and women -- need to be more valued for the work they do at home. Darla thinks society as a whole demeans parents that choose to stay at home and care for their children. "My husband jokes about it by saying that he doesn't work for a living, and I do think he does it to make fun of society's view on staying at home, but I also think that sometimes he says it because he enjoys staying at home so much and doesn't always see it as work."

While being accepted and supported is important, Peter's main joy is Katherine. He is a tireless supporter and educator for Katherine, making sure he reads all he can about parenting, and encourages her to socialize. "When she was smaller I took her to Kindermusik and swimming lessons," he says. "I have continued to take her swimming on my own and I recently start her in gymnastics." The duo also enjoys story time, their Tot Time playgroup and frequent trips to the library. "Sometimes we do spur of the moment, unplanned activities like stopping to watch various construction equipment build or tear down something."

Peter and Darla will soon add another little one to their family. Darla is pregnant with their second child. "I feel blessed and a little apprehensive about doubling my work load," says Peter. "I'm not sure at what number of children that economics of scale kicks in."

Economics or not, Peter wouldn't change it for the world. "I think it's the best job I have ever had," says Peter. "Like any other job, some days go better than other days. I feel I know my child better and I am having a good influence on her."