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Home › Dad of the Month

Michael Rubright

By Melissa Granberry

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

As a student, Michael Rubright learned a valuable lesson when a teacher brought a jar filled with large rocks to class. "Is the jar full?" the teacher asked. All of the students agreed that it was. Then the teacher added small pebbles to the jar, which found their way in between the larger stones. Apparently the jar wasn't full, as the teacher then added sand, which filled in the gaps between the pebbles and rocks.

The lesson? "The big items in your life should come first," Rubright says. "Family is represented by the large rocks. Everything else is pebbles and sand." He adds that if you fill up your life with "pebbles," such as work or hobbies, then there will be no room for the "large rocks" – your family. This demonstration struck a chord with Rubright, and he has practiced this philosophy throughout marriage and parenthood.

Family Life

Rubright met his wife, Lin, when he was 13. "I was visiting a friend in another town and was introduced to Lin," Rubright says. "We dated as kids, but then went our separate ways." However, Lin kept in touch by sending a Christmas card every year. When Rubright was 23, he called her to go out to dinner, and they never looked back. "I think it's great that Lin and I knew each other as kids," he says. "It helps us with raising our own children."

Ladies' Man

Rubright, a sales manager, now lives with Lin and their four (soon to be five!) daughters in Marlton, N.J. "He is the type of dad that makes sure everyone gets a kiss before he heads off to work," says Lin. "He will wait for each girl to wave good-bye at the window before he pulls away, no matter how long it takes. He knows that if he doesn't wait, tears will flow."

When Rubright walks through the door after work, he takes the time to say hello to all of his children and his wife separately. And in the evenings, watch out! He magically transforms into a human mountain for his daughters to climb or a silly tickle monster that chases everyone around the house.

With four girls and another on the way, people ask the Rubrights if they are trying for a boy. "When anyone asks, we tell them 'No!' We just love having children in our family," Lin says. The Rubright's newest addition – a girl – is due in April. "Our daughters are excited to be big sisters again," Rubright says. And how is Lin dealing with the fifth pregnancy? "It's not easy taking care of four kids while pregnant," Rubright says, affectionately.

Rubright makes sure that all of the women in his life get individual attention, including his wife. "I try to find a balance between the things I do for myself, the things I do for my wife and the things I do for my family," Rubright says. Without a conscious effort, it is easy to fall into the habit of doing everything for the family, and neglecting the items that are meant for his wife. "If you don't make something a priority, then it won't be a priority," he says.

A Bond of Love

So how does he keep such a close bond with his wife after nine years of marriage and four children? "Lin and I do volunteer work together," he says, adding that volunteering is something they have been doing for years, even before children. "I have noticed that most of the volunteers are women, and it's a shame that more men are not joining in." Dedicating time to helping others keeps the Rubrights close and connected. They have been involved with organizations such as the American Diabetes Association and Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Now, the Rubrights have started their own foundation, The Anna Foundation for Inclusive Education. The foundation assists schools with education enhancements and curriculum modifications for students with disabilities. "There is plenty of work to be done," says Rubright, adding that it continues to be difficult for people with disabilities to be integrated into society. "And inclusive education costs money," he says. The Anna Foundation, named for Rubright's eldest daughter who has Down syndrome, gives private funding to provide teachers the education and resources they need for inclusion, as well as tutors for students.

Rubright uses simple terms when talking to his younger daughters about Down syndrome. "We don't lie about Anna's condition," he says. Rubright lets the girls know that some things are harder for Anna to understand, but not to make a big deal about it. "They help her, but she also helps them," he says, explaining that his daughters are now more accepting of others with disabilities.

"Michael is so patient and kind with Anna," Lin says. "He knows how much she enjoys spending time with him, and he always lets her tag along or 'help' when he's doing something around the house."

"He loves all of his daughters unconditionally," Lin says. "And despite how difficult it can sometimes be to differentiate between all the personalities, he treats them individually." For instance, in addition to helping Dad around the house, Anna loves watching sports with him. Natasha, 5, likes to color and read. "She's very inquisitive," he says. Rebecca, 4, loves to be tickled and tossed in the air. And, Kiley, 1, toddles over to him with her big smile and wraps her little arms around his neck. "Michael is the one with a big arm and shoulder when their feelings are hurt. He always takes time to listen to their concerns, no matter how long and drawn out they may be."

Road Trips

Besides having fun at home, the Rubrights love to travel. "We get in the van and go," Rubright says. Recently, the entire family drove 18 hours from their home in New Jersey to Florida. "We've also driven to Key West and camped for five days," he says. How do they survive long road trips with four kids in the car? "We engage them," he says. Each girl is given a map and follows the route to their destination. "Everyone gets involved. I would rather be traveling with my family than anything else."

Apparently, his wife and family feel the same about him. "Michael is the sole financial supporter of our family, while also being a huge emotional, spiritual and physical supporter," Lin says. "We know we have the best dad in the world!"



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