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Home › Dad of the Month

Chris Elder

By Crystal Patriarche

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

What would you do if your wife had an incredibly difficult pregnancy, was in preterm labor for 13 weeks with toxemia and other pregnancy complications and doctors were concerned for her life? And then, as if that weren't bad enough, your newborn baby girl was sick the entire first year of her life? If you were Chris Elder of Bakersfield, Calif., you would become Superman.

At least that is what Elder's wife, Wendy, says about her husband. "My husband, Chris, is an amazing dad," she says. "When we were pregnant with our first child, he was incredible. I had the worst pregnancy and he was there every step of the way. I didn't realize just how dedicated he was to me and our family until we moved away from our families. He instantly stepped up and became Superman!"

Super Hero Dad

Elder agrees it was hard when they were pregnant with their first daughter, Caetlyn Rose, who is now 2 years old. He had to balance an unforgiving work place and an understandably needy wife who had a very hard time with swelling, painful feet and heart problems.

The Elders were in the hospital or doctor's office two or three times a week. "What do you do in this type of situation?" Elder says. "I was just there for her. She called me home more times than I can count. I went, risking work hours and wrath from my boss. I would drive her to the hospital at 3 in the morning due to false labor or extreme pains. I helped Wendy get through by staying with her, holding her hand when needed and just being there for her at all times."

Because he was always scared that he would have to choose between his wife or his baby, Elder says the months dragged on. But when it was time for Caetlyn's arrival, Wendy says her husband coached her through the birth with amazing ease. "He brought her to me and helped me get the hang of breastfeeding," she says. "He was always so supportive."

Unfortunately, Caetlyn was sick the first year of her life. Elder would hold her, walk her around and give her baths, hoping she would stop crying long enough so that Wendy could get some rest. Then he would go to work in the morning. Every day after work, Elder would lie down next to Caetlyn and talk to her. She would talk back, smile and laugh.

Super Powers

After the Elders got through the birth and first year of Caetlyn's life, their next challenge awaited them. They found out they were pregnant with their second daughter, Noelle Audrey, who is now 9 months old.

Again, Wendy had a difficult pregnancy. "Noelle wasn't any different, only a lot easier to deal with emotionally," Elder says. "I was scared but not really about how the baby was doing. She was always fine and growing normally. I was scared about how my wife was doing. The doctors really had a grave concern about her health, and whether or not she would even survive. I got through the whole experience with a lot of prayer."

Doctors told Wendy that she had to be hospitalized and they did not know when she would be able to go home. She had hypertension so bad the doctors feared she might have a stroke. So with 5-day-old Noelle and little Caetlyn, Elder took charge. He took leave from work and called in reinforcements from his mother-in-law.

While Wendy was hospitalized, Elder brought Noelle to her so that she could nurse the baby as much as possible. He bought a pump and brought it to the hospital so that Wendy could pump some milk for him to take home to Noelle. He would bring Caetlyn to spend time with her mommy.

"He would cook me meals at home and bring them to me," Wendy says. "He would call at 3 in the morning to tell me that Noelle was fussy and how much he loved and missed me. When I was able to come home, he hired a babysitter to come every day to help me until I felt better."

The Power of Parenthood

According to Elder, despite all the scares and chaos, life has changed for the better with fatherhood. "I mean my time is made up of diaper changes and feedings and 'What's that, Daddy?' and coos and giggles, whereas before I had time alone with my wife and a quiet household with nothing to do," he says. "I enjoy the chaos most of the time."

Elder says that his favorite part of being a dad is all the love his children give him – and hearing "I love you" from them for the first time. "Wow," he says.

His relationship with his wife is stronger now than before being parents. "We have been through so much together, it is really amazing how we grew together instead of apart," he says. "I hear stories on TV and in newspapers all the time about how easily people give up on their partners faced with a little diversity in their lives. We married for life; we take what life gives us."

Before kids, they had fun and played around a lot. "After kids, I see this beautiful woman become an exceptional mom who stays at home all day long when she is sick, when the kids are sick, when everybody is fussy," Elder says. "It takes a very special person to raise kids, and that is Wendy. We have fun still, just in different ways than before."

Elder takes delight and amazement in watching both of his kids grow, do things for the first time and become their own person. "I don't have a single proud parenting moment, rather a series of momentous events," he says.

For Elder, he wants to raise his family to be morally responsible toward themselves and others and would like them to be a cohesive unit, always able to talk to each other about the joys and troubles that they come across in life. "I can't wait until my kids can talk," he says. "Then we can discuss things. I'm excited about the future but don't know what God has in store for us."

If he were able to give his girls advice now, he would tell them, "Be quick to listen and not to judge. Work hard, and don't complain. If you put your mind to it, anything can be achieved, and Jesus should always be at the center of your lives."

Wendy says through it all Elder never stopped being a dedicated dad or husband. Because of this, she believes that her husband is the most dedicated dad in the world. "He has been amazing through everything, and I couldn't ask for a better father for my children," she says.



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