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Home › Dad of the Month

Darrell Shockey

By Teri Brown

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

When a couple gets married and has children, the last thing they think about is becoming a single parent, but with the divorce rate at over 50 percent, it's bound to happen to a large portion of the population. Darrell Shockey is one of those people. A single father of two from Houston, Texas, Shockey makes single parenting work by keeping his motto in mind at all times: whatever is best for the kids.

That includes spending almost every spare minute with his children, being involved in their academic and sports activities and sharing friendly custody with his ex-wife. "I don't badmouth the children's mother to the children and she and I try to be friendly and helpful because that is what is best for our children," Shockey says. "It wasn't always easy to keep things civil in the beginning, but was worth it."

A Juggling Act

Being a single father isn't always easy, but Shockey makes it work. As a fireman for the Houston fire department, he works long hours.

"It is hard because I work [a] 24-hour shift twice a week," Shockey says. "And being a single parent it makes it really hard because my kids miss me when I'm gone for 24 hours. But they know that Daddy has to work in order to have what we have."

Shockey knows how difficult it is for the family of a fireman, but it's what he loves to do. "It's hard to find a job you look forward to going to every week, but with my job I do; every day is an adventure," Shockey says.

Shockey's 8-year-old son has some health issues that also complicate the mix. He has extensive allergies that include cheese, milk, eggs, berries, nuts and fish, among other things. Monitoring his diet and his other health issues takes a lot of energy.

"That doesn't keep him down, though," Shockey says. "He is all boy, and I can't keep him inside all the time. I just have to keep an eye on him. But he's worth it. I've had to leave work many times when the school calls and said he's having a reaction to something. It scares me. I can't protect them all the time but I do my best to be there when they do need me."

Shockey calls his daughter his little shadow. She's 10 years old and follows him everywhere. "She likes to play any sport and will try anything," Shockey says. "If me and my son are outside shooting hoops, she wants to try. If we're playing baseball, she wants to hit and catch."

All About Family

Shockey says that fatherhood has changed him in ways he didn't expect. "I used to be a busy guy – working a few side jobs, playing softball and just being gone with the guys," Shockey says. "But after my daughter was born, I slowed down a lot. I stopped going out with the boys and just didn't have the same interest in playing softball anymore. What surprised me the most is that I was so scared of being a dad. I thought I would have no clue what to do or how to act, but once Kayla was born she had me wrapped around her little finger. I would rush home after work just to be home with her and play."

For Shockey, the toughest part of being a single parent is the same as it is for parents who have a spouse – concern about making the right decisions for your child and worry for the future. "I think the toughest thing about being a single dad is making sure I am doing the very best for my kids – making the right decisions for them and keeping them safe," Shockey says. "I guess I am like every parent out there."

And like every parent out there, Shockey has concerns about facing the teen years.

"You know the teenage years are just around the corner," Shockey says. "I want them to be safe and not hang out with the wrong people when they get older. I was no angel when I was a teenager, but I know when I did something wrong, I had to answer to my dad. My dad was a good dad. He made sure we stayed away from all the bad things and if we didn't, we had to answer to him. I just want to follow in his footsteps."

Try Darrell Shockey's recipe for King Rang Chicken.



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