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Home › Dad of the Month

Rob Mutzl

By Kelly Burgess

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

Rob Mutzl of Pleasanton, Calif., gets a lot of curious stares when he's out with his kids at the park. "I can tell people are thinking: 'What's this one guy doing with all these little kids?'" he says.

Mutzl doesn't blame them for staring. Even in this enlightened day and age, a stay-at-home dad is something of a rarity. A stay-at-home dad of four kids under age 4 – which includes a set of triplets – may be almost nonexistent. But he and his wife, Maryanne, a corporate executive, wouldn't have it any other way.

Instant Family

Rob and Maryanne Mutzl met when they were both 16 and working at a movie theater in San Ramon, Calif. They were just friends and co-workers then. Some years later, after both graduated from different colleges and moved back home they met again at the movie theater, started dating and then married. They both had good jobs, although they were hesitant to start a family because Rob travelled so much in his job as a corporate consultant, often being away from home for two to three weeks out of the month.

Finally, in 2001, after they'd been married for seven years, they decided the time was right. Rob quit his job so he could be available for his children-to-be, and started working part time at their church, where he and Maryanne were already very active.

Things didn't quite go according to plan. After being diagnosed with "unexplained infertility," the couple started undergoing various procedures, finally turning to IVF. "It's such an intense experience, because they spout all these statistics that sound grim to begin with, and then we ended up with three viable eggs, but were told the chances all three would take were slim," Mutzl says. "The emotional ups and downs and the worry and all of the steps that are taken makes it seem like such a long process; it's amazing to think it all happens in nine days."

At the end of those nine days, the Mutzls got the good news that Maryanne was pregnant, and that based upon her hormonal levels they should plan for twins. It wasn't until an ultrasound at 9 weeks that the third heartbeat was spotted. And, to Mutzl's shock, the first question they were asked was if they wanted to reduce.

"I just said, no, we've come this far, we're going all the way with all three babies," Mutzl says.

What followed was what Mutzl calls "a model pregnancy." That is, until about week 28. At that point, Maryanne started having unexplained bleeding. She was hospitalized for four days while her condition deteriorated. Finally, the decision was made – either lose Maryanne and the babies or deliver them, save Maryanne and hope for the best.

Canyon, Sydney (the only girl) and R.J. were subsequently delivered by C-section and placed into the NICU, where they stayed for the next three months while they gained size and strength. Except for some predictable breathing problems, and Canyon needing intestinal surgery, Mutzl says they were surprisingly, miraculously, free of any serious complications from their premature birth, and all eventually came home as healthy as full-term infants.

Becoming a Stay-at-home Dad

As soon as they found out they were having triplets, the couple knew that one of them had to become a stay-at-home parent. With that many children, especially children who may need special attention due to medical issues, only a parent would do.

Mutzl was just working part-time, and they worried about him taking a new job and being on probation and the implications of that on his medical insurance, if there were complications with the pregnancy or the babies (which, of course, there were). Maryanne, on the other hand, had a good job with great benefits and a lot of seniority. They decided it was only logical that he become a stay-at-home dad. But, he admits, it isn't just all about the medical insurance and the money – he also loves his lifestyle and the time he spends with his kids.

"This lets me be a kid again," Mutzl says. "I love to roll around with them at the park and take them outside and just hang out and have fun."

Mutzl says his big focus has been on the triplets' physical and occupational development, working with therapists and also on his own to help them overcome some of the inevitable developmental delays of prematurity. He's now proud to report that they were tested by the school district and they are caught up to their peers and are on track to start kindergarten at age 5.

Although, that's not for a couple of years, as they're only 3 now. And it's not like Mutzl is going to be able to put his feet up and relax when they do get on the bus. You see, a funny thing happened while they were just living their life and trying to deal with three toddlers. Maryanne got pregnant – no infertility treatments, no IVF, no planning. As Rob says, "The triplets must have primed the pump." Hunter, their third son, is now 2.

Work and Life Balance

Like any stay-at-home parent, whether it be a mom or dad, Mutzl wants to be able to care for his kids, while still supplementing the family income. He finally turned to something that he had started doing in college – working as a DJ for weddings and parties. It's worked out well for him, as he can work at nights and on weekends when his wife is home. Plus it gets him out of the house and it's something that he really enjoys. He also works part-time doing maintenance at a local golf course, and he and Maryanne spearhead charitable works through their church – often working on projects aimed at preemies and their parents.

The only thing Mutzl regrets is that his extended family no longer lives in California. His parents moved to Florida and his sister to North Carolina, where Mutzl lived until age 10. He says that moving from a small town in North Carolina to California when he was a boy really shaped his upbringing.

"California was so different from our small town that it made our family become even closer than it had already been," Mutzl says. "It was the model for me as to the kind of family I wanted to have, and my dad was the kind of dad that I wanted to be."

Mutzl says he does a lot of things with his kids that he did with his own father, and, living in such a clement climate, they spend most of their time outdoors – just as he did as a child. He may be a bit of an anomaly, being a stay-at-home father, but he says the best kept secret of his life is how much fun he's having.

Try Rob Mutzl's recipe for Pluckn' Bread!



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