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Home › Dad of the Month

Sam Holt

By Shannon McKelden

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

Sam Holt will be the first to admit he didn't enjoy the birth of his 4-year-old son, Hugo, and that he was a lousy pregnancy and birth partner to his wife, Skye. The difference between this 35-year-old Australian and most other men who might admit to the same feelings, is that Holt did something about it.

"To be honest I was in denial and just wasn't prepared for the birth," says Holt. "On reflection, I decided that it was such a shame and [I] didn't want other guys to not have a happy birth experience."

When Troy Jones, a friend of Holt's whose wife was also pregnant, confessed to some of the same feelings, Holt realized that most dads want to be great dads, and with a bit of help they would have an easier time of it. Only there wasn't much available just for dads, to inspire them to become involved in their wives' pregnancies. Then, Holt had the idea of creating a DVD just for dads.

With Holt's idea and his friend's production company, the Being Dad DVD (www.beingdadusa.com) was born. In Australia, the U.K. and most recently in the United States, Holt and company have interviewed hundreds of dads, who talk about their fears about pregnancy, parenthood and share advice with other dads just starting out on the parenting journey.

"Our goal is to help dads become better dads and we believe that to do that one must start behaving like a dad from conception onwards," Holt says. "Being supportive and involved, understanding choices and options for birth are integral to a happy birth. Have a happy birth and you'll start enjoying fatherhood sooner."

Involving Dads

Holt believes communication is crucial to men being involved dads – and should start before the baby even arrives. That includes communication with their spouse, but also with friends who have either experienced pregnancy and fatherhood before, or who are going through them now.

"Get involved from conception," Holt says. "Be prepared, learn and be interested. Find a parenting DVD book or magazine that interests you. Talk to your male friends who've had kids and the females in your family. Learn how to be a good birth partner."

Holt thinks most men want to be good, supportive dads during pregnancy and beyond, but that men are wired differently. They just don't know how. Giving dads a resource other than big fat pregnancy information books piled on the bedside table – which Holt believes are unlikely to be read by most men – was part of the reason behind the Being Dad DVD.

All About Balance

Now that he is a dad himself, Holt, who handles the day-to-day business aspects of Being Dad and also owns a mobile medical practice in Australia, knows firsthand the joy of fatherhood. "Being a dad for the first time is the most incredible few moments of your life," he says.

Feeling that it's all about work/life balance, Holt understands the value of being present in his child's life. "Kids are pretty simple; they just want love and to be loved," he says.

To make sure he provides that for his son, Holt tries to work from home when possible and, if he's not able, then to at least work reasonable hours, which allows him to spend time with his family, as well as pursue other activities that bring him enjoyment, such as golf, fishing, reading and cooking.

Part of the balance in Holt's life comes from spending time with his wife, Skye, whom he describes as a "great mom and an exceptional business woman who manages to juggle both with aplomb."

Keeping your relationship healthy is so important that Holt believes men need to keep things alive, even during their partner's pregnancy. "I think it's important to realize the impact kids have on your relationship," he says. "It's very important during pregnancy to spend as much time together, enjoying being just a couple, because once the baby comes those times are few and far between for some time. A few hot dates or short trips away to rekindle the passion go a long way to a happy pregnancy."

Holt's advice to women who want their partner to be more involved? "Don't wait until the last trimester to get him interested – start early," he says. It's all about helping him understand what's important to you and how he can be supportive.

One of Holt's goals is to change the perception of pregnancy and birth so that more men will be excited about it, want to be more involved, are more aware of their choices and strive to become great dads. "I feel sorry for men who didn't get the opportunity to be involved in birth and child raising," Holt says of dads in past generations. "I think many guys want to be more involved, they just don't know how. Hopefully pregnancy and parenting media start paying more notice of dads – manufacturers are."

One thing Holt wishes new fathers could understand is that fatherhood is an ongoing learning experience, where dads (like moms!) make mistakes and learn as they go. Hopefully his contribution to dads will ease a few minds and help dads feel they're not alone. "I truly believe if I knew then what I know now, the experience would have been much better for us both."

And He Cooks

One thing Sam Holt did (and still does!) to support his wife is to do a lot of the cooking, which is something he really enjoys.

"Getting kids to eat fish can be an ongoing battle," says Holt. "So here's a simple recipe that's a winner with the kids and a dinner party hit." Try his recipe for Salmon and Flashy Chips!



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