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Michael Hall
By Kelly Burgess
Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.
Michael Hall of Leesburg, Va., says he and his wife, Ashley, realized very early on they would have to be their child's biggest advocate. After their daughter, Katelyn Marie, was born at just 25 weeks – weighing less than 1 pound and no longer than a ballpoint pen – they heard a lot of grim prognoses. They were told she probably wouldn't survive. That she'd probably never walk or talk. That she'd be severely impaired mentally and physically.
Katelyn beat all the odds, and this year she's been named the 2009 National Ambassador for the March of Dimes. The Halls are convinced Katelyn wouldn't have survived without the efforts of the March of Dimes, and for several years have worked to raise funds, forming a March for Babies (www.marchforbabies.org) Family Team, appropriately named Team Katelyn, and sharing Katelyn's unfolding story in their Katelyn's journey blog (http://katelynsjourney.wordpress.com/). It's truly been a journey, amazing and almost unbelievable.
Then, at 25 weeks, Michael Hall got a call from Ashley that she was having pain. She became progressively sicker in the emergency room of the local hospital, and they finally transferred her to Georgetown Hospital. Her grave condition had been communicated to the medical staff there, and he says he'll never forget their arrival.
"We were met [at Georgetown Hospital] by 25 doctors, telling us all these different things," says Hall. "I was so overwhelmed I couldn't even begin to make a decision. Finally, I formed a bond with one doctor and he helped me sort out what was going on and what I needed to do for my life."
Ashley was suffering from HELLP syndrome caused by a clotting disorder and Katelyn had to be delivered immediately to save Ashley's life. Before they put his wife under, Hall told her that he needed her help in making the huge decision of what to do about Katelyn when she was born. She was at only 25 weeks gestation, but because she was not growing properly, she was about the size of a 21-week-old. The couple decided right then and there to treat her as if she were a normal 25-week-old and to base all further decisions on that premise. All they could do then was to hope for the best.
Ups and DownsAshley recovered quickly, but the new parents were given a devastating diagnosis: Katelyn's odds of survival were only about 5 percent. What followed were weeks of surgeries, painful procedures and the rising and dashing of the Halls' hopes over and over again.
At one point they stopped taking pictures of Katelyn because they were told she wasn't going to make it and they just couldn't bear it. Then, gradually, Katelyn started doing better. There were more ups, and fewer downs. The Halls began to cautiously get their hopes up.
"Katelyn was in NICU for five and a half months and it was three and a half months before we actually felt like we were in the clear," says Hall.
Becoming AdvocatesThe first hurdle was the visiting nurses, who were often inadequately trained or just completely incapable of doing what Katelyn needed, such as changing her feeding tube. Hall, a sheriff's deputy, says he tried hard not to intimidate anyone, but he wasn't shy about confronting the agency and asking them to think about the possible implications of their willingness to send incompetent employees to care for the medically fragile.
Doctors weren't much easier. Sometimes when Hall researched their recommendations to treat the various conditions Katelyn was grappling with, he discovered that the long-term consequences could be worse than the current problem. He also found that, often, there was a less invasive alternative to the treatments the doctors recommended. He became adept at research and open to non-traditional and alternative therapies.
As Katelyn grew they had to advocate for her even with her teachers, keeping them from pre-judging her based upon what she was doing at the moment, because they knew how much potential she had and how far she had already come.
And that, Hall says, has been key. They now employ a mix of traditional and non-traditional therapies to deal with Katelyn's delays and physical issues. And she's thriving, walking, talking and going to school – all things the Halls had been told she'd never do.
"I think she's going to be fine," says Hall. "She's a fighter, a real redhead. My gut feeling is she's going to be able to live a perfectly normal, healthy life and she'll continue to be an inspiration for a lot of people."
And it's not just Katelyn who is inspiring others. In 2004, when Katelyn was just a year old, a colleague of Ashley's put a clipping on her desk about the work the March of Dimes was doing on behalf of preemies. Ashley shared the article with Michael.
"I'd never really been involved in any cause before, but then I've never had anything touch me like this," says Hall.
Michael encouraged Ashley to send Katelyn's story to the March of Dimes. Within a few days the couple was contacted by the March of Dimes and asked to share their journey with a national television audience.
That proved so rewarding, and so inspiring to others, the Halls increased their involvement. Their efforts were rewarded when they were named the 2009 National Ambassador Family for the March of Dimes and recognized for their fundraising efforts. It will be a lifelong partnership, says Hall, because even as Katelyn thrives, the family knows there are other children out there who just need the same fighting chance.