Q. What advice would you have for parents who are dealing with bullying, whether it’s their child doing the bullying, or being bullied?

J.L. Children who bully others typically do so because they themselves have been bullied in some way. They act out the part of the aggressor on someone else. Parents need to build up their child’s self-esteem through positive activities, such as martial arts. They also need to give real consequences to their children if they bully others, and not coddle negative behavior.

In the same vein, parents whose children are victims of bullying need to build their self-esteem so they will have the personal fortitude to stand up to the bully. This can also be accomplished through positive character-building programs, such as martial arts. I’m not suggesting the kids solve their problems by fighting. I’m suggesting they develop their inner self-confidence so they can verbally stand up to the bully.

The ironic thing is, in both cases, parents need to build up their children’s self-esteem because bullies and victims both typically suffer from the same problem. They just act them out in different ways. The other interesting piece is that typically bullies will only respect someone after that person stands up to them.

Q. Do you feel it’s more the school’s responsibility or the parents’ to stop the bullying?

J.L. Let me start by saying that when someone is bullied it may not be fair and it may not be their fault. But make no mistake about it: It’s their responsibility to handle it. Parents and schools must teach children real strategies for handling these situations. However, the fact is, most parents only know two strategies. You get parents who say, “Talk it out.” And you get parents who say, “Punch him in the face.”

Talking it out will only work with a reasonable person who cares about being fair. And punching someone in the face will get the student suspended or kicked out of school. That’s where Bully Education Theater comes in – to teach children real strategies for stopping bullying without fighting.