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Expert Q&A
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| By Dana Chidekel, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist Author | ||
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I'm living with a friend and his daughter, and I'm trying to give his daughter space/time for adjusting to the whole idea of me living in their house. Both are good people, but how am I supposed to cope with the daughter's attitude towards me?
Your question does not make clear the nature of the relationship between you and your friend. It might be useful to consider what your arrival in the house means to this child, and open a discussion with her about her perceptions, fears and concerns. What has she been told about why you're there? Have you replaced another important figure, like her mother? Opening a dialogue with the girl in which you express an interest in her experience is one such opportunity to demonstrate the kind of relationship that you are interested in and available for.
It seems that you need to have a discussion with your friend about what is going on as well. What are his perceptions? Is he concerned? What are his thoughts about how to intervene? While, I have no idea what the daughter's "attitude" toward you is or how it is expressed, any time adults are living in a household with children, then adults need to agree about the kind of behavior that is not acceptable for a child to display. Why don't you all sit down together and have a talk in the interest of bettering all the relationships between you?
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- I'm living with a friend and his daughter. How am I supposed to cope with the daughter's attitude towards me?
