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Expert Q&A


	By Betsy Buckley Adoption Expert Author

We adopted my niece at birth because my sister is mentally challenged. How and when do I tell my daughter that she is a gift from God?

First, I would like to know how old your daughter is, and if the adoption was open, or semi-open as that factors into my advice. I'm afraid a one age answer for all situations isn't possible. Some children are more inquisitive than others at earlier ages, more "mature" and able to handle what might be sensitive issues. However, speaking from experience as an adoptive mother, and after interviewing dozens and dozens of adoptive families, my feeling is that it's not as important as when you tell your daughter is she adopted, but how. Let her guide you with her questions. As she develops, you will continue to add to the information she's given. But don't wait -- waiting implies secrecy and shame.

Betsy Buckley, adoption expert and author

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