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Expert Q&A

	By Vimala McClure Parent Educator

I will be returning to work full time in two weeks time. I have chosen a home daycare that I feel comfortable with but I would like to know -- what should I do to prepare my 11-week-old daughter for the transition from being home with "Mom" to being with another care giver and other children? I could also use some tips for making the transition smoother for myself!"

You are already way ahead by your awareness of your feelings and your willingness to prepare for the change ahead of you, so in some ways you are already preparing your baby, too. You might try to arrange to visit the place with your baby a couple of times to familiarize you and your baby with the atmosphere and people. If you feel comfortable about it, invite the person or people that will be caring for your little one over for lunch or tea or something like that. They can see what her home is like, get a feeling for the family and what she is accustomed to, and you can get to know them better. If it is possible for you to stay with your baby at daycare for a little while the first few days, maybe shortening the time a little bit each day, it might help both of you make the transition more smoothly. Another suggestion is for you to sleep with one of her plush toys or blankets for the next couple of weeks. Your odor will stay with the blanket or toy and will be a comfort to her at the daycare home.

Don't be alarmed if your baby cries a lot, especially at first, when you bring her home, but seems very happy at the daycare. Often babies will "save up" their stress until they are home with Mommy and feel safe. Just listen to her, allow her to vent and cry, and you might try a special time in the evening when you rock and sing or read to her, or give her a massage and/or warm bath, and focus all your energies on her alone. That will make you feel better, and she will get that quality attention from you that she needs. At work, when you think of your baby and feel tension begin to build, consciously relax your body and take three deep, long, slow breaths repeating "let... go" to yourself, and imagining your baby happily enjoying her day or sleeping peacefully. Imagine she can feel your energy and you are sending her relaxation, love and comfort. Doing that, you surround yourself with these things, too.

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