Hi,

I normally post on the Stillborn Discussion Board and have formed a lovely friendship with the ladies there BUT we seem to have outgrown this board. We have all had a stillborn baby but we have come so far since then that some ladies are trying to conceive, three are pregnant, and I have just had a new baby. We are concerned that any newly bereaved person coming to the Stillborn board may be hurt, offended or scared off by all our chatter about TTC and being pregnant. I just feel it's fairer for a woman to be aware that pregnancy will be discussed on a board and anyone coming to the Stillborn with us currently on it isn't given that warning if you know what I mean.

So to keep our happy group together we need a board that caters for any woman ready to think about another preg or who want to ask qustions, those ttc, those pg and those who have had their baby. ....you may think it's too broad a topic for one board to handle, but then again, WE are already discussing these exact topics!!!! If a new board was set up we could still visit the stillborn board and offer our support to any new people and confine our happier talking to the new board. I can't really post on the TTC after a loss because I am NOT trying to conceive, we don't fit on the pregnant after a miscarriage board as not all of us have had a m/c and of course I'm not pg....and we want somewhere to meet once our babies have arrived to share our common concerns about parenting a baby/child...they are unique concerns that the average parent may not have if they haven't suffered a loss.

Could you advise me how easy or willing or how soon you are able to set up a new board catering for women after a loss who want to discuss being pregnant or who are parenting a subsequent child. We have a suggested name: Subsequent Babies After A Loss, or Pregnancy and Parenting After A Loss.

Thank you. :-)

Miriam Blake

Webmother's Note: You can find the Pregnancy and Parenting After A Loss board here.

TTC Tip

The first tip is to do the "baby dance" in the early morning when you first wake up. We tried for several months in the evening after going to bed, but we work hard, long hours and found it hard to stay away for this activity several nights in a row. Waking up early each morning while TTC worked better for us.

Just set the alarm for 1 hour before you normally get up in the morning. When you turn off the alarm, re-set it for the time you normally get up. For instance, if you normally get up at 6:00AM, set the alarm for 5:00AM. When it goes off, re-set it for 6:00AM. Then, do "the baby dance," then stay in bed for at least a half hour, or until the alarm sounds, which ever occurs later.

I believe this helped for several reasons. First, we were well rested in the mornings. Second, my husband repeatedly denied my request for him to wear boxer shorts instead of briefs during the day. Some believe that when wearing briefs, the testicles are so close to the body that the body heat "kills" sperm -- or at least slows it down greatly. Since my husband sleeps nude, the testicles had a chance to "cool off" during the night.

The first month we TTC in the early mornings during the fertility days through the ovulation day, we conceived. Now, I am 9 1/2 weeks pg.

Thanks!

Rebecca

A Request

Hi! I am requesting that the Multiple Micarriages Discussion Board site be offered on the iParenting Internet Communities for parents -- Discussion Board site as well.

Right now the site is only offered from the preconception discussion board site (http://preconception.com/) and I feel that more people would visit if it were offered from the pregnancy today board options site in addition to this one.

I appreciate your help and consideration with this matter. I also appreciate the fact that you added this board to your options earlier this year. It is (unfortunately) a popular site that has offered a great deal of support for those who need it!!!!

Sincerely,

Christi

Relationships Information

Hi--

I really appreciate your newsletter. Often I find something that has concerned me.

I would love to see a section on marriage relationships i.e., what happens to relationships after a baby is born, how to keep connected, how to deal with unfulfilled expectations, how to deal with anger, etc.

How did Dr. Sears and his wife do it? My husband and I were together 7 years before our son was born, now 2 years later we are on the verge of divorce. We had a good relationship before the baby but now we barely touch and fight frequently. How do we turn this around?

I look forward to future issues. Thank you,

Isabelle

Breastfeeding Board Idea

I have an idea for the Breastfeeding Board. Weight Management While Breastfeeding. I am sure A LOT of us women would like support in this area! Thanks!

Janelle

Webmother's Note: Great idea! You can find the new board here.

Conception Myths Comment

Hi!

I love your site and was very pleased to read the myths about conception on preconception.com.

I was just wanting to comment on the wording of Myth #5 which states:

Myth 5: If we have sex often enough, we will get pregnant.

Unless your partner has a problem with his sperm count, by all means, have all the sex you want! But, it is important to realize that you only need to have sex during a few crucial days of each month. These are the days you ovulate, and unfortunately, you could have sex 29 days out for a 30-day cycle and still miss ovulation. Timing, not repetitiveness, is important.

I just wanted to say that the phrase "the days you ovulate" gives the impression that ovulation takes place over a few days -- often if we realize through charting that we already have ovulated, it's too late to do anything about trying to conceive THEN.

Just had a comment that perhaps this could be better phrased so that some women don't mistake its meaning and wait for the day of ovulation to try to conceive. Perhaps you could say something about the few days preceding ovulation including the day of ovulation or something along those lines.

Since egg-white cervical mucous is a good indication that ovulation is approaching or near to happening - perhaps that should be included in this myth to further clarify the few days a woman is fertile during her cycle and that is more important that she has sex during EWCM than trying to guess when ovulation is happening and THEN having sex when perhaps she has already ovulated and it is too late to have the sperm meet the egg? Just a suggestion.

Thanks a lot,

Nancy

Thanks for Article

Thank you for the article on Antepartum Depression. I found it very helpful after searching the web last week for links and coming upon dead ends. Lots of info on PPD but not APD. I hope that you will add some APD links to the Pregnancy Today Web site.

Maurenne Griese, RNC, BSN, CCE, CBE

Wanless Home Birth Help?

Although my baby is now 8 months old, the memory of his birth still fills me with a mass of great emotions. I know that I would not have these feelings if we had gone into a hospital for his birth. I already have a daughter, a very "easy" uncomplicated hospital birth. Her arrival was the most special thing that had ever happened to me, however this recent home birth was something else altogether. So why no mention of homebirthing on these pages?

Webmother's Note: Simply go to http://pregnancytoday.com and type in home birth in our search box to find our links to information on this subject. Be sure to check out http://birthstories.com for home birth stories.

A Story of Encouragement

During my pregnancy, I read all that I could on breastfeeding. I consulted the internet, friends and family who had done it. When I finally went into labor, my nursing bra was packed, my breastfeeding guide, business card of my lactation consultant and I couldn't wait till the birth was all over and the doctor was laying my baby on my chest to nurse for the very first time. Romantic, no? Well, I'll begin by telling you that my son was born a month early and had to be in Special Care for nearly a week. At that time, I was crushed, yearning to bond with him and worrying sick that now we wouldn't start off the right way as all the books say (breastfeeding should occur moments after birth - best case scenario). Lonesome beyond my wildest dreams, I still pumped and brought the milk into him day and night. Missing that vital part of my soul that had been with me constantly for 8 months, I'd wander in and out of the nursery, trying to picture him without all the tubes and machines, hour after hour. The nurses would give my milk and colostrum to him through the feeding tube, and then the bottle until I was finally able to take him to my breast. Two weeks after his birth, when I was sure that my nipples would come off from the pain, I was diagnosed with mastitis in BOTH breasts. With the encouragement of my OB, friends and family, I continued to nurse through it (2 weeks of intense pain, antibiotics, bleeding breasts and a five-day fever of 103). It took us both until about 10 weeks to get things right and now we couldn't be happier. It was a journey that I'll never forget. Obstacle after obstacle, I look down into those big blue shining eyes and thank God for giving me the strength to persevere. It was worth all the pain to see such a happy healthy baby in my arms. For all of you, hang in there -- it's worth every tear.

Lynette & Avery Hammond