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November 30, 1999

Likes MomsTalk

Thank you for improving your MomsTalk page. I love being able to read while I am writing to everyone else. It is so much more convenient. Thanks again!!

Krisanne

Regarding PT's Sheryl Swoopes Interview

A very nice, informative interview. However, you forgot to ask her one vital question: where did she find maternity clothes to fit her WNBA-length inseam? So far all the pants or leggings I've found have an inseam of 32", which won't even reach my ankle bone (I need 35"). Do clothing manufacturers think that tall women don't get pregnant, or don't care about how they look during pregnancy?

Amy C. Buondonno

Thanks for BirthStories.com

I would just like to thank you for a wonderful site and allowing us to write in our birth stories. Giving birth is such a special event and as such should be treated as one. Unfortunately, this sometimes is not the case, as in my first delivery. For a long time after giving birth to my daughter, although not postnatal, I still felt great disappointment and I continuously played the birth over and over in my head so much so it became somewhat of an obsession. When I sent in my story to you, just getting the whole thing off my chest and putting it down into words, and maybe helping someone else in a similar situation, made everything so much better. I have accepted what happened and have stopped dwelling on the negative and focused on the positive. So even though this site is here to help new mothers gain insight into giving birth, it also helps those who have given birth and have a need to share there experience be it good or bad.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Amanda Woods

The Use of Words

Dear Webmother,

I was *very* pleased to see your diaries page carrying a story of a fat woman's pregnancy. Fifty percent (or better) of the women in the US are over a size 14, so you are definitely focusing on something with which many of your readers can identify. I would ask you, though, to consider the words you use in your title "An overweight mom of three...". I've been through 15 years of obsessive-compulsive dieting which resulted in irreparable damage to my body, and have gotten to the point that I wish people would be comfortable calling me what I am: fat. Fat is not a pejorative term: it's descriptive. Thin people are thin, fat people are fat. Overweight implies that someone should be a weight different than what they are -- this is an acceptable weight, you are over it. Do you call thin women underweight? Wouldn't that be imposing a judgment best left to their doctors and they themselves?

I know many people are uncomfortable with "fat." I wish we were in a place in this body-obsessed country where we could use that word without insult. For today, maybe "large," "big" or "plus-sized" could be a start. I know it seems petty and small to those who haven't suffered, but with 50% of your audience having no doubt lived a life where the media has constantly told them that they are too big -- "over" weight -- it would be a start.

Thanks for your time,

Lisa Shea

Co-sleeping Questions

Hello!

I am alarmed at the reporting of the study that warns against co-sleeping. I see that you have quoted William Sears, MD, as being an advocate of co-sleeping, but the overall article feels negative towards co-sleeping.

As a co-sleeping parent myself who has never had any problems nor heard of any, I would love to see a completely "pro-co-sleeping" article in your newsletter. Thanks for a way to provide feedback & keep up the good work!

Sincerely,

Sabrina Urban

Webmother's Note: You can see Dr. Sears article on safe co-sleeping here.

More on Single Mothers

Dear Webmother,

I wrote a few weeks ago expressing my concerns over your inclusion of a new diary writer who was living with her boyfriend and planning a pregnancy. This week, I read one woman's (S.B.) take on what I wrote and hope you will allow me the opportunity to clarify what I said.

First and foremost, I would like to point out that I never suggested abortion in any way, shape or form-talk about making leaps! Also, I made it a point not to criticize the diary writer, but rather addressed those who were responsible for selecting her to represent part of the Web site.

We all have the freedom of choice, but that isn't supposed to imply that because you have the freedom to choose something that you should. There will always be people around who examplify poor choices. My question to the editor asked why they wanted to showcase someone who was potentially doing so.

I don't know what studies S.B. was referring to, but how can anyone come to the conclusion that children who grow up without both parents in the home do not turn out any different? Ask anyone who grew up with decent parents, which one they think they could have done without! S.B. stated that her parents divorced when she was 2 and has never had a problem. However, she doesn't say if only one parent raised her or if the parent who moved out of the home continued to be a strong part of her life. Clearly, it would make a difference, but in either case, I don't believe that her parents' divorce had no impact on her and that she is no different than had it not taken place.

It takes a man and a woman to create a child. So, where is the leap in thought that this is also the ideal combination for raising one? How does the fact that "it's the 90s" change any of this? There are so many loving couples who are unable to have children of their own and want to adopt-these people can be the solution to the problem when a child is destined for a life that will be less than what they deserve.

Sincerely,

K.F.

A Note From Scotland

This is Lesleyanne from Scotland, I would like to let you know that I had a baby girl called Gillian Sarah on the 3rd of June. Gillian wasn't due until the 15th of July but decided to arrive 6 weeks early. This was due to the fact that I had severe preeclampsea and was rushed into hospital and was in hospital for a week before Gillian was born.

I am glad to say that Gillian is now nearly 6 months and after her 3-week stay in hospital when she was born is doing very well. A special big thank you was to the staff at the Queen Mothers hospital and York Hill childrens hospital (specialist children's hospital in the UK).

I just wanted to share my good news with you and to let you know my husband and I are looking forward to spending our first Christmas with our long-awaited baby girl.

Lesleyanne Deans
Glasgow, Scotland

Three Times as Happy This Thanksgiving

Dear iParenting,

Ours is not a tradition yet, but today we found out our first child is actually triplets. We have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, especially since my wife had so much trouble getting pregnant, due not to her fault, but the infertility was my problem.

Thank you for iParenting, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

David Hanline


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