Amy Racina

By Sue Marquette Poremba

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a mother who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a woman and a mother. Above all, the Mom of the Month is dedicated to her children. Rich or poor, famous or not, she shines as an example of what mothering is all about.

When Amy Racina's son, Sam, was about 9 years old, the car the two of them were riding in broke down on the on ramp to the Golden Gate Bridge.

"I was terrified," Racina recalls. It was getting dark, they were on a busy highway and she wondered what she was going to do. It wasn't safe to walk along the highway in the dark. However, Sam grabbed a flashlight he had brought along with him and said, "OK, Mom, I'm ready."

As a mother, Racina taught Sam the importance of being independent, of how to survive when the chips were down. The qualities she passed along to her son when he was a young boy were qualities she herself would need to survive a few years later.

In August 2003, Racina went on a solo backpacking adventure in Kings Canyon National Park in the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range. While backpacking, Racina took a step. She was holding on to a tree and a rock and thought her planted foot was on firm ground. But the ground gave way. Next thing Racina knew, she was free falling 60 feet, landing on a granite boulder in a ravine.

Racina lay in the ravine, her body bloody, battered and broken. Her son and some close friends had her itinerary. While it was impossible to provide her exact locations and camping spots during her trip, Racina was able to provide estimates on how far she planned to travel on any given day, the paths she was taking and when she was expected back. No one expected to hear from her for several more days, which meant it would be several days until anyone realized she was missing. Would she still be alive when someone found her, she wondered? She also thought of Sam. Would he care if she died?

Racina was sure her death wouldn't matter to him. At age 16, he was independent, she thought. He was already showing that he didn't need her as much in his life, not consulting her the way he once did. He no longer shared interests with her.

"We used to go hiking and camping together," Racina says. "But at 15, he decided he didn't enjoy that anymore." Even though it saddened her to think of Sam living his life without a mother, Racina found comfort that she had raised him the best she could.

It turns out, however, that Racina was wrong in thinking her son wouldn't care. "Sam couldn't understand why I'd think that," she says. It was a wake-up call for both of them. No matter how old a child gets, Racina discovered, his mother is still important.

Sam is Racina's only family. Racina and Sam's father divorced when Sam was 7 years old. Throughout the years, she and her ex-husband worked out an arrangement so both could continue to be active in Sam's life. Being Sam's mother is the most important thing in her life.

"I worked hard to make sure Sam knew both of his parents loved him," she says. "I wanted the divorce to be a change in his life, not a disaster." Consideration of what was best for Sam was always first and foremost in her life. Working as a freelance writer and designer and then having her own at-home business, Racina was able to work her schedule around Sam's. She turned down opportunities to live other places so Sam would have full-time access to both parents.

She also knew the time was quickly approaching when he wouldn't need her the way a growing child needs a parent. "I believe it is your duty as a parent to let your child go," she says. She was not sad that their relationship was moving into adulthood, but, rather, she was eager to share this new phase and to watch Sam become an adult and find his own way in life. As she lay in the ravine, Racina wasn't sure she'd have the chance.

In her book, Angels in the Wilderness (Elite Books, 2005), Racina recounts her fight for survival after her fall. Her backpack didn't fall from her, and she landed near water. Although she severely injured her lower body, she had full use of her arms. In order to try and put herself in a better position to be found, Racina dragged her body and her 21-pound pack off the boulder. It took days to go less than 100 feet.

She was found by hikers three days later. By the time she was found, it was a race against time. To keep alive, Racina convinced herself that she wasn't too bad off. Her rescuers, however, saw a woman on the verge of death. Her face was blackened from bruises. She was missing teeth. Her knee was ripped open and infection was beginning to set in.

It wasn't until she was delicately rescued by helicopter that the pain set in. Racina was taken to the hospital where her recovery began.

After she awoke from her initial surgeries, she learned of her diagnosis: "I have two fractures of the left hip," she writes in her book. "The patella, the kneecap, in my right knee is shattered. The open knee fracture is ... badly infected after four days untreated. My right ankle is dislocated, and I have hairline fractures of the right tibia and the left femur."

When Racina arrived in the hospital, she was two quarts low on blood and fairly dehydrated. She was very close to losing her right leg. Another day in the woods and the infection likely would have moved into her vital organs.

Along with being a single mom, Racina currently runs two small businesses. Her main business is a mail-order company, supplying game tickets for fund-raising groups. She also has an independent clothing store that she sets up at festivals and fairs. She has no employees. If she can't do her job, she has no income.

During her time of need, Racina's network of friends stepped up. They did the physical work Racina couldn't do. Her friends also raised money, provided transportation, gave her a place to stay when she was learning how to walk again and essentially became her extended family.

Sam also stepped up. If everything happens for a reason, perhaps Racina's accident was to provide a new connection with her only child. In the past, she admits she spoiled him as an only child, doing things for him that he probably could have done for himself. She wanted to do it, she says, and she got great joy out of taking care of him.

Now Sam was taking care of her. He did chores around the house. If he saw they needed food, he went to the grocery store. Before her eyes, he went from a surly teenager to a mature young man. Their relationship began a whole new chapter, not just as mother and son but as adults.

"He communicates more now," Racina says. "He tells me how he feels and that he loves me. And he worries about me when I go into the woods."

Her recovery came in baby steps: a walk around the block, a two-mile drive, grocery shopping. The mundane was reason for celebration.

Racina is still recovering, but she's hiking again, able to do about eight miles a day. She knows now that people love her, especially her son. She was able to see Sam, now 19, move out on his own, and the pride is evident in her voice when she tells how Sam is becoming successful in his own business venture selling motorcycle parts.

"My life is a gift now," Racina writes in her book. "Every experience I have now is a bonus."