Evelyn Ain

By Teri Brown

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a mother who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a woman and a mother. Above all, the Mom of the Month is dedicated to her children. Rich or poor, famous or not, she shines as an example of what mothering is all about.

Meet August's Mom of the Month, Evelyn Ain, a mother, special needs activist and successful entrepreneur.

There are many ways to react when parents are faced with a crisis concerning their children. Some people pretend that it doesn't exist. Others become super parents, watching their children's every move. Still others take the crisis and turn it into something bigger than themselves or their child. They step out of their comfort zone to help others who are going through the same crisis. Evelyn Ain is one such mother.

Her son, Matthew, was diagnosed with autism at 15 months of age. Foundering for answers, she became frustrated at the lack of good information available for parents in the same situation. She decided that something had to be done about it and became a national advocate for autism awareness and the publisher of Spectrum Magazine, the first autism lifestyle publication for parents of children with autism and developmental disabilities. Ain is the kind of mom who takes action when she sees a need, for both her own child and the children of others.

This drive to be an advocate for her child started when her son, Matthew, was just a baby and she noticed that something was wrong. As most mothers are, Ain was thrilled when she learned she was expecting her first child. She worked on the nursery, read parenting books and began planning for the future. After her son was born, she kept notes of his milestones in a small book.

"I would write things like, Matthew smiled at me today, Matthew sat up, Matthew held a spoon, Matthew crawled," Ain says. "... And then one day at 10 months old, he stopped talking and was very aloof and non-responsive to his name. Basically, he was regressing instead of progressing forward. In all of the books and magazines I had, I couldn't find any information that could tell me what was wrong with my child."

Ain called the pediatrician several times, explaining that Matthew just wasn't acting like himself. The pediatrician assured her that everything was OK, and that she was overreacting and being a neurotic parent. Ain persisted, calling other medical professionals because she knew there was something wrong with her child and that he needed help. She called several top neurologists in New York City, and they informed Ain that they rarely evaluated children younger than 2 years old.

"At 15 months, we flew to Florida and I found a top professor who was a behavioral analyst, and she evaluated him and diagnosed him with a form of autism, known as Pervasive Development Disorder (PDD)," Ain says. "When we came back to New York we knew we had a child with PDD, which we knew very little about."

Ain was lost, not only because she didn't know how to help her son, but because she had a very difficult time finding information about his condition. "I didn't realize that autism was a lifelong disability," Ain says. "It took me awhile to learn about it. No one could sit me down to explain it to me. I had to do it on my own. I was appalled when I found a lack of information, a lack of support and a lack of understanding and answers that dealt with autism."

Ain realized that other parents were facing the same difficulties and knew that if they could find a way to network, they would be able to share both information and support. "I found such a comfort in uniting with other parents that were going through the same challenges I was experiencing, such as confusion and the feeling of being lost," Ain says. "That's how the thought of uniting parents across the country through the magazine was born."

Within eight months Spectrum Magazine was being distributed nationwide with a circulation of 60,000. Ain is the publisher, as well as a frequent contributor, but that isn't all she does.

Ain is co-chair of the North Shore/Long Island Jewish Health System's Autism Committee and the Nassau County chapter of the Association for the Help of Retarded Children's Reach for the Stars Foundation. Recognized by state and local officials for her work, she was recently appointed by the Commissioner of the Nassau County Health Department to serve on the Early Intervention Coordinating Council.

Her latest project is another first, a cruise dedicated to autistic children and their families. The voyage takes off from New York City and will make several stops in Canada. It is the first of its kind and will have professionals on hand to provide loving interaction with the children affected by autism as well as programs for their siblings.

"Today, my son is 5 years old, and, with autism being such a great mystery, every day is a new day and in every day there is a new lesson," Ain says. "It's a challenge, and yet every accomplishment that my child has is beyond exciting. When he accomplishes something it brings an amazing and rewarding feeling."

Ain feels that being a parent to an autistic child is just as rewarding as being a parent for a typical child. "The day-to-day challenges may be different and the schools that our children attend may be different, but the reward of being a parent is still the same," Ain says. "I look beyond my child's disability because my child is my child, and to me it's no different than raising a typically developing child. You have different issues with every child; no matter how you look at it – a child is still a child."