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Kate Gosselin
By Shannon McKelden
Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a mother who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a woman and a mother. Above all, the Mom of the Month is dedicated to her children. Rich or poor, famous or not, she shines as an example of what mothering is all about.
"It might be a crazy life, but it's our life." This quote, from the opening sequence of the TLC show, Jon & Kate Plus 8, pretty much sums up Kate Gosselin's life with her husband, Jon – and their eight children under the age of 8.
When Kate met Jon in October 1997, they had no idea what would be in store for them. Both had always wanted children, but soon after their marriage in 1999, Kate found out she had polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).
"I don't ovulate," says Gosselin, who lives with her family in Pennsylvania. "I needed fertility meds/procedures to get pregnant. The risks of using fertility meds is that you can end up with multiples – and we sure did!"
In October of 2000, the Gosselins welcomed twins, Madelyn and Cara, into their family. Both Kate and Jon loved being parents and were very hands on. They decided eventually to try for another child, and when the girls turned 3 years old, they found out they were pregnant again.
Of course they were aware of the chance for another multiple pregnancy, but when their doctor counted seven babies (one ended up not developing), they reacted the way most of us would when confronting the fact that they would soon have two toddlers and multiple infants to care for. "We were both extremely panicked at the thought," Gosselin says. "Our whole lives flashed before our eyes."
While their doctor tried to calm their fears by suggesting selective reduction of the fetuses, Jon and Kate refused, instead choosing to rely on their faith. "We truly believed that if God gave us these babies, He would take care of us," says Gosselin, though she also admits that that way of thinking came later – once some of the shock had worn off.
Both of the pregnancies were difficult. "With the [older] girls, I thought I was sick ... [but] that was my best pregnancy!" Gosselin says. "I was extremely sick – major nausea and vomiting until 20-some weeks (hospitalized for dehydration a few times) and was put on bed rest at 28 weeks."
But that was truly nothing compared to the difficulty of her pregnancy with the sextuplets. "I was sick at 5 weeks with nausea and vomiting all the time, had hyperstimulated ovaries early on (another side effect of fertility meds), kidney stones, a PICC line (an IV line at home so I could handle my own fluids to avoid dehydration) and overall felt like I was 80 years old," Gosselin says. "Oh, and bed rest started at 7 weeks!"
On top of all their fears of not having a big enough house or car or enough income to support such a large family, Jon lost his job during the pregnancy with the sextuplets.
"I was already fretting about the loss of income," Gosselin says. "I had been off work about two to three months already when Jon lost his job. I freaked out, of course, but then a strange feeling that God was orchestrating something bigger came over me – and at this point, so much was out of control for us that we had no other choice but to ride along."
On May 10, 2004, just shy of 30 weeks into the pregnancy, the babies made their appearance. Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah and Joel were beautiful and healthy, and the Gosselin family grew from four to 10 overnight.
It seemed they had prepared Mady and Cara well for the arrival of their new siblings. "They were really excited to be big sisters!" Gosselin says. "We made it – can't say easier – but we prepared them by talking incessantly about the impending arrival."
For a while they were careful not to talk about how many babies were coming, in case something happened. "But eventually, we discussed what it would be like (as much as we were able to describe!)," Gosselin says.
When Kate and Jon were approached to film a television special about their lives with twins and sextuplets, they agreed. "We did it to have six to nine months of our lives saved on DVD since we didn't have time to videotape the kids – and they were growing up fast!" Gosselin says. Eventually one special turned to two, which then turned into the series Jon & Kate Plus 8.
So, three days a week, they have a film crew documenting their daily lives. Gosselin corrects the assumption that reality TV is catching a "typical day" in the Gosselin household. "There are no typical days in this house – ever," she says.
Though, truly, the Gosselin children are just like every other siblings, filling their home with laughter, tears, squabbles and hugs.
"When the work involved with the show gets extra hard, I always try to think of the good things, and the fact that we can work from home essentially is definitely one of the hugs blessing that has come with our show!" Gosselin says.
Soon, Gosselin will add "author" to her resume, as she coauthors the book, Multiple Blessings (Zondervan, 2008), along with her friend Beth Carson.
One thing Kate feels strongly about is that she and Jon do most of the work themselves, which might be atypical for families of multiple multiples. "On days that we aren't filming, we rarely have anyone here helping – and that's the way we like it," Gosselin says. "We want to raise our own kids. We know we have to accept some level of help, but we accept it as little as possible. I want our kids to remember us as being very present."
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