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Dr. Bill and Martha Answer:
When my 3-and-a-half-year-old gets upset, he wants to nurse. Is this a problem and is he too old to be breastfed?
When my 3-and-a-half-year-old gets upset, he wants to nurse. Is this a problem and is he too old to be breastfed?
Answer:
Your 3-and-a-half-year-old is using you as a pacifier. After all, "pacifier" means peacemaker, and what better peacemaker is there to a child than his "nums-nums?" It's important to first examine your feelings. Do you resent still using breastfeeding as a comforter? If you enjoy it, then it's right for you. If you resent it, it's time to move on to another comforter. Also, consider that "nursing" means comforting, not just breastfeeding. Try to comfort your child in other ways, such as holding, rocking, singing, or distracting his about-to-tantrum behavior into an equally attractive play activity.
Although your husband feels that it will only get worse, this is unlikely in that all children naturally wean. He's never too old to "nurse," but there reaches a time when he is too old to breastfeed. You are always comforting your child, but you will at some time wean him from breastfeeding. The age of weaning varies considerably from child to child and really depends upon the point when one or both members of the nursing pair no longer enjoys it. Remember, your child is young for a very short time. The time in your arms, at your breast, and even in your bed is a very short time in the total life of the child, but memories of love and availability last a lifetime.
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