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Welcome to the Sound Off Discussion Board, where parents from all walks of life and all parts of the world come together in one place to share their opinions and thoughts about the question of the week. Please remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion and the freedom to express it. Obscene posts are unwelcome and shall be removed from the board. Please keep in mind that this is a public board. Never post personal information that you would be uncomfortable sharing with others. Comments about this board should be sent to iParenting's Webmaster. Thank you for contributing! If you have a suggestion for the question of the week, send it to feedback@iparenting.com.

Admin note: The Sound Off Board was created so parents would have a place to debate important issues that affect our families, or just chat about something fun through a question of the week. Lately, the board has gotten out of hand. iParenting Media will not tolerate name-calling, impersonating others or threatening posts. Please keep in mind that this is a public board and a family Web site. Please report any problems to iParenting’s Webmaster. Thank you.

Board Spokesmom: Wendy

The Board Spokesmom is NOT a representative of iParenting.

If the TV show Clean Sweep came to your house, which room would you organize?

For archived topics, click here.

Good morning! :-)

YAYY! We all survived our FIRST PROM NIGHT!!! Daughter had a lovely time and I must say we are so very proud of her! She signed a "Prom Promise" card, stuck to her end of the deal and was even appointed "designated driver" by a group of her friends! She just got home a little bit ago from running them all home so looks like she'll be sleeping late tomorrow morning...she certainly deserves it! :-)

Iparenting..new question soon please!
TC!!!
LH
Sunday, May 23, 2004 at 03:45:44 (EDT)
Hello ladies. I hope you are all well.
We had a busy day today. Dh hauled a bunch of big stuff to the dump today - an old outdoor antenea someone had thrown out in the brush - some odds and ends of fencing material, some old carpet, etc. Our community has a spring clean up every year when you can haul all that kind of stuff to the dump for free, so we have been compiling a little pile for a couple of months and really cleaning up outside. Then, I weeded out a flower bed that is filled with rocks, and an old whiskey tub. It has a big lilac tree in it, which I pruned back. It is a pain having to weed between rocks though, the weeds just want to break. Dh also made good progress with the dog house - it is all assembled and now all he has to do is put on the cedar shingles on the roof and sides. Besides that and housework and playing with dd, the day has flown by. We have a storm brewing outside now - thunder but no lightening. I am curious to see if we will get lightening - we often get thunder when our fronts change. I would have liked to work with the horses some today, but it has been rainy and windy on and off, not good conditions to work horses in.
I guess that is it.
Congratulations Wendy!
Have a good Sunday.
Margarita
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 20:55:19 (EDT)
>I wrote about how one soldier felt.>

LMAO Jane!~Yeah, right, you are related to someone serving in Iraq....where was your BIL stationed? Abu Graib? I'm sure any relative of yours serves bravely and honorably{{{{Sarcasm}}}}. Since you would lie about being "Born Again", it is apparent that you would lie about anything and everything. You lied about serving in the Air Force too at one time as well. You're such a chucklehead...LOL!


angela
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 17:45:05 (EDT)


Death From
Ritalin The Truth Behind ADHD
 
Our
14-year old son died from Ritalin use.
 


http://ritalindeath.com

is a free educational resource for parents looking for information
on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
Discussion forum included.
 
Thank you,
Lawrence
Smith


info@ritalindeath.com



Lawrence Smith
email: info@ritalindeath.com
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 16:18:20 (EDT)
Our 14-year old son died from Ritalin use.

http://www.ritalindeath.com is a free educational resource for parents looking for information on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Discussion forum included.

Lawrence Smith
email: info@ritalindeath.com
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 16:06:40 (EDT)
Our 14-year old son died from Ritalin use.

is a free educational resource for parents looking for information on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Discussion forum included.

Lawrence Smith
email: info@ritalindeath.com
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 16:05:29 (EDT)
Wow Jane. What a Class act you are....do you kiss your children with that mouth? I'm really hoping your apparent case of the nasties is temporary, due to your pregnancy hormones. I bet you call your kids names too, like turd and dumbass. You remind me of some braless trailer trash, hair in the curlers sort that screams at her kids all the time. Poor little angels.

You are a PIG.

>>>>>>>

Dawn
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 15:32:10 (EDT)
P.S. You wrote : so she really would not be a credible source as to what American soldiers do, or do not feel, about this war!

Well no shit Sherlock. I wrote about how one soldier felt. How is that a fucking tirade?

Jane
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 13:00:07 (EDT)
>Wendikins~It was not LH who went off in the tirade you are referring too, it was calamity Jane. I don't know how she can have a Brother-in-Law serving in Iraq though, since she answered a question posted by J-Mo about only children, saying she, Jane, was an ONLY child. So, how could she have a BIL? She is the same type of person who lied about being *born again* and baptized too...so she really would not be a credible source as to what American soldiers do, or do not feel, about this war!

Angela ~ You are such a moron. If he's my brother-in-law then he's my husband's brother! ROTFLMAO
Jane
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 12:53:49 (EDT)
I am emailing you now saraj about the babys today board.
Wendy
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 10:23:01 (EDT)
I emailed the webmaster all of the info...;-)
Saraj
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 09:41:30 (EDT)
Wendy~ I don't have your email saved, so I had to post this here.

Someone has sent me an attachment claiming they are form the Babies Today Board...here is the info on the IP.

OrgName: RIPE Network Coordination Centre
OrgID: RIPE
Address: Singel 258
Address: 1016 AB
City: Amsterdam

I was hoping you would work with Iparenting to find this person's original IP. Let me know if you need any more info.

I'm sure this isn't really from Iparenting...but let me know if it is.





Saraj
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 09:38:03 (EDT)
morning all! wow, last nite we had the rehearsal dinner for my cousin's wedding and i got a killer migraine. it was so horrible, we had to come home early and i was in bed by 9pm! today, thankfully, i'm fine but i'm taking meds just in case. the wedding is tomorrow! we are all excited. my daughter is one of the flower girls (along with her cousin) and she cannot wait to "have flowers in her hair!"

WENDY, you know you're in my thoughts and prayers, and i'll be thinking of you especially with this pregnancy. never forget, god knows best!

TINA, nice to "see" you again! you must be some sort of anxious to hold your little one in your arms! best of luck to you!

well ladies, i hope you all have a lovely weekend. monday is a huge holiday here, "bermuda day" so the island is going a little bit crazy right now!

talk to you all later....
j-mo mama
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 09:10:29 (EDT)
DH just left for work so I thought I would look in on here.

Tina wow you are still pg? I really hope that he comes soon for you!! Thanks for the pick me up. I also have a blood clotting disorder called antiphospholipid syndrome that also makes me m/c. Not fun. I know that you can get pg right away after a m/c. But I guess not everyone is as educated in that fact as we are. I can't wait to hear your birthstory!!! I hope all goes well for you and that your labor is short and painless! :)
Wendy
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 06:39:40 (EDT)
Hi everyone,

I haven't been around much as these final weeks of waiting for this baby is kicking my butt royally. I have managed to read quite a bit, just haven't had the energy to respond. My prayers go out to everyone experienceing illness and other difficulties right now.

Wendy - Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am a living witness that it is possible to be pregnant immediately following a miscarriage. I miscarried 8/21/03 and my baby is due next week, on May 27th. It was a frightening time for us as we got pregnant the very first time we DTD after all the bleeding stopped, we didn't get to deal with the miscarriage before there was another baby. I spent a good amount of this pregnancy scared to death that something would go wrong. The one thing I did was turn everything over to the will of God and I got great peace from that.

Just know that whatever happens, God is there with you and he has the final say on everything, not the doctors and especially not the fool who spouted her dumb opinions about YOUR pregnancy. I'll be praying for you and the baby.

Respect
Tina
email: lilmissirie@cs.com
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 22:15:55 (EDT)
Hey all. Well I hadn't announced it here yet since I have just found the time to sit and make a post. yes I found out this am. I talked to Cherokee about it and since I am almost through with the radiation I might have a m/c. I am trying to keep my hopes up. We were not trying but not using protection either. Anyway I am extremely optimistic. God has His reasons.

Melanie I really love how you like to make my business yours. Yes it is very possible to become pg. If you want dates, I m/c April 20th. So yes I just found out today and my obgyn said that it is extremely possible and oh my gosh uuhhhh I am not the only one hes seen do this!!! Imagine that?!?!?!?! You dear need the help not me. I am not the one who tracks my every move and likes to keep track of my m/c's. You dear are sick. YOU THINK I LIKE HAVING M/C??????? Get a life and leave me alone. You are just prob jealous that I can get pg. You are prob one of the mothers who cant and by your behaviour here, that actually might be a good thing.

Thanks ladies for sticking up for me. I am still trying to process this info and totally floored by it so is DH. I really didn't need to add that to my day. Thanks for being there for me.

Saraj, LH and Angela thanks soooo much :)
Wendy
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 18:50:17 (EDT)
Hey all! TGIF! I think (hope) Summer is finally here! It is really warm today, which is great, but the million percent humidity I can do without. Ugh!

Wendy~I didn't know you were pregnant again. Great! Congratulations!

Melanie~Get a life you stalking freak.

Lyne~Your schedule at home sounds like ours...we are coming up to a INSANELY busy month in June too! We spend most of the month of June at the ballfield, but we enjoy it, as do our little ones. Mason has a new little playmate who he talks about ALL the time...Sammi this, and Sammi that...where's Sammi? When is Sammi coming here?...She is a little older than he is, but she's a good Merry-Go-Round pusher, so Mason thinks she's great. Dayton is happy just to toddle back and forth between whoever will play with her.

We have crazy weather brewing outside, I can hear the Thunder Rumbles, so I better go and shut the computer down. Have a great weekend all............
angela
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 17:11:05 (EDT)
Melanie...Why would you say something hurtful like that to another person? You ought to be ashamed of yourself! *Karma works in strange ways and I certainly hope you find that out soon!
LH
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 17:06:11 (EDT)
Melanie~ It IS scientifically possible for Wendy to be pregnant again already. It's not uncommon to ovulate immediately after a miscarriage...this would mean she could already be about two weeks pregnant. An EPT test would pick this up no problem. I have known some womyn who ovulated when they had their periods, and some who have had their periods while they were pregnant. Although it would be a better idea to wait a few months to get preggo after a miscarriage (easier on the body this way) it is entirely possible that it could happen that fast. We're all different!
Saraj
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 17:04:16 (EDT)
Oscar...my son has been in more than one production....and he was invited to try out for more this Summer but we're too busy.

Actually, we don't fit into the weirdness of the usual crowd in theatre. I 've always been put off by a lot of the people types in theatre. But then again, you run into that no matter where you go, even the store and the park. I think what happens is that you get people with extremely high egos who ultimately believe they're the best and they can do no wrong. It's not always fun to deal with, but we've bene pretty lucky and have had mostly all good experiences with the people we've worked with. My son wants to be an actor so it's essential that he experiences all types of people from all walks of life. This way, when he runs into a few oddballs, he'll learn how to handle them carefully when he encounters them. Much like I have been doing with OScar.
;-)

Saraj
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 16:59:46 (EDT)
Wendy so you announce you are pregnant already.Didn't you miscarry just about 3 weeks ago.I still feel you are full of crap and like having attention tossed your way.How long before you miscarry this one.You really need some psychiatric help
melanie
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 16:26:53 (EDT)
Hi ladies :) Just wanted to wish you all a good weekend ahead. We have a wedding tonight, 2 soccer games tomorrow at 11 and 12 then softball practice at 2:30 and cheerleading tryouts at 9:30am. Im tired thinking about it. Havent been on much, just alot going on. DD1 first ballgame was Wednesday, she was the starting pitcher, went 3 complete innings, 7 strikeouts and no runs scored on her. We won 5-3. She was a bit jittery, but they all were since it was their first game. I hope everyone is doing well. I hope to get back into the groove soon, I hope. Just lots going on and not enough time in the day. Sometimes its all just too stressful. Have a good one ladies :)
Lyne
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 15:01:33 (EDT)
I've been searching around for vehicles, and have been using this site for researching new cars. Anyone else have any tips or pointers on where to go?
New Cars
email: New Cars
Washington USAFriday, May 21, 2004 at 14:32:09 (EDT)
Hey, just wanted to comment on the Theatre put down...my daughter was in several local productions and I know firsthand about the "type" of people that frequent these sort of places...they are mostly adults ranging from homosexuals to alcoholics and quite a few pervs! I don't know why, but they seem to be "drawn" to this sort of profession and I had to keep a close eye on her when she was little and even took her out of Fiddler on The Roof (she was 13 then)which we were very excited about her getting a part in so it just made me sick to have to do that...I had heard one of the pervs was going to be in it and at that time I wouldn't have been able to be there to supervise as much due to work conflicts...the last play she did which was last year, I felt she was pretty much capable of taking care of herself around these sort of people and she was fine, but I just wanted to point out that this sort of thing IS prominent in theatre and parents need to keep an eye out for their kids!


LH
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 12:44:16 (EDT)
Saraj-sort of like you with the theatre production your son was in...right?
I could always have envisioned you as the "psychotic" parent in organized events, and you proved it! Cool.
Oscar
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 11:29:58 (EDT)
My kids have all done sports...baseball, basketball, and soccer. We never had any problems. We've had the crazy parents screaming throughot the entire game, but mostly, everyone was normal.
Saraj
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 10:46:13 (EDT)
Morning yall.

Cherokee, Kerri & J-Mo please check your email. I could rally use your advice!!

To everyone else, I hope that you all are having a better day than I am!
Melissa
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 09:53:51 (EDT)
Good morning, everyone. Just a quick hello… I’ve been crazy busy with work and I’m leaving early today to have my wisdom teeth pulled (ew!).

J-mo mama, I’m sending good thoughts for your and your family. I hope the best for all of you!

Have a good weekend!

Barb
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 09:26:08 (EDT)
ARG! I napped earlier and now I'm wide awake!

YW Saraj..if your kids ever get involved in any sports, I am sure you will soon understand the meaning of "Politics"! When my daughter would play volleyball and basketball she would look for me in the stands and I would tug on my ear, which was our little *secret code* for "I love you!"...since she dropped both of those sports this year and only does Track, I don't do that anymore, but just cheer her on as loud as I can!

She came in second tonight(Districts) and is now moving on to "Regionals" this Saturday..which is also Prom night so things will really be hectic!!!
LH
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 02:20:35 (EDT)
JMO-so is it in his lungs or intestines?
I hope to hear good news from you soon.
Kerri
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 17:35:23 (EDT)
If TLC's Clean Sweep Team came to my house, I would have them clean sweep my whole house.
Bertha
email: warmshastacola@yahoo.com
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 14:48:04 (EDT)
wow, another crazy day. it's funny how i go for so long with nothing interesting happening then all of a sudden, BAM! it all happens at once..

ok first of all, baby Owen update. the docs xrayed him again this morning and it appears that his bowel, which had been going thru his diaphragm into his lungs, was starting to correct itself! the doctors were amazed, and of course my family finds this nothing short of a miracle. they are operating on the baby as i write this, and i hope to know more in a couple of hours...

as for my stepson, Jr., he is still in hosp. and viral meningitis in the early stages is still suspected. his fever hasn't been under control yet, so they are keeping him till they can get him cool and to stay cool. he's happy enough in the hosp. there are so many kids on the ward, and at 13 he's like the big brother to them all! i'm heading out in a few minutes to go see him...

LYNE, good for tara! you KNOW she and jesse slept together and i dont blame her for being pissed! personally i didn't like jessica. i give her and jesse a year, tops!

CHEROKEE, i will reply to your email later when i have some time to breathe! thanks, tho, for your email. much appreciated!

barb, traci, shawanda, melissa, angela, wendy, fatima, ellie, kerri, misty..hope you ladies are all having a good day.
talk to you later



j-mo mama
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 14:01:20 (EDT)
Yeah, I saw that I didn't pay attention to the names...but i have seen you do that before. Well, now I know. Thanks.
Saraj
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 13:02:26 (EDT)
BTW Saraj~I still can answer your question, even though you meant to direct it toward Fatima. No, it is not strange at all to tell somebody they need to check their email. Our computers at work are online at all times, but in my case, if I want to check my personal email I have to log on to my home computer email website, then retrieve my email from a remote computer. I only do THAT a couple of times a day, or if somebody here, or on other forums, tells me I need to check my email. So, really what you thought was strange, really is not.
angela
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 12:50:42 (EDT)
Saraj~ummmmm....I didn't come here and tell anybody I emailed them.
angela
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 12:33:10 (EDT)
Um, Oscar...maybe you should try to live life less seriously...When I wrote "Someone want to learn me this? ;-)" It was suppose to be funny...because I really didn't get the politics and sports connection and I felt "weird" that I didn't get it. I aced English in school. I had a feeling you'd take that sentence seriously. Sheese.


LH~ Thank you for the explanation. I've always known favoritism existed in sports, but I didn't make the political connection to it.

Angela~ Question for you. Why do you come here to tell someone you emailed them? Don't you think they'll see that when they check their email? Don't most people check their email before they start playing online anyway?
I just think it's strange.

Saraj
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 12:26:37 (EDT)
HELLO EVERYONE!!!

Hope that everyone is doing fine......

CHEROKEE- I just e-mailed you.....
Fatima
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 10:29:20 (EDT)
Hi all!

My hubby is very involved with Youth League Baseball in our town too~I can also attest to some of the nightmare parents out there. Our parents sign a Parental Code of Conduct when they register their players, and don't receive a team uniform until it is signed, sealed, and delivered. I think it is absolutely appalling that a Code of Conduct for parents is even NECESSARY, but unfortunately they are, due to all of the chuckleheads out there trying to live their "Field of Dreams" drama through their athletic children. We really had only one problem last year, and as soon as the parent yelled one nasty word(at his own child) his butt was escorted off of the field. That parent showed us...his child plays in another town this summer because dad does not want to follow the rules and not yell obscenities at T-Ball games(YES, T-Ball!!!) I have to say though that a MAJORITY of the parents, at least in our town, are really good and are no problem whatsoever.


angela
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 08:45:57 (EDT)
j-mo mama :) I am not a doctor, but I do believe that if he has Viral Meningitis, he will be just fine. Its the Bacterial you have to worry about. Viral is very treatable and curable. Prayers are with your family. My son was tested for Meningitis more than once, and I was told that if he did indeed have Viral Men. he would be sick, but he would be fine. Bacterial is very deadly. I hope that at least helps some. I am praying for you all.
The Bachelor!! OMG.... could you believe Tara?? I couldnt believe she was puking! lol But, Im not sure about Jessica, I think shes immature and not sure what she wants. But, I do think she likes him. Im glad he didnt propose to her. I dont think Jesse Palmer is very cute either. I can see Tara on the next Bachelorette. I wonder if they were banging each other, because she was pretty pissed that he * led her on *... have to watch The Bachelor, After the Final Rose! haha
Regarding the sports saga. Absolutly it is Politics in alot of cases!! We just had a case where a kid did not have a high enough GPA to be eligible to play, and yet there he was, because he is the * star * player. Teachers even lie to let some kids play! And, if you have the right last name, lots of money.... it doesnt matter if you are flunking, you play!! Its not right, but it happens all the time.
Lyne
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 08:43:50 (EDT)
Who let the drug pushers in?? YiKeS!

Saraj...I can answer your question! (Hubby was HS basketball coach for 3 years and our daughter has played sports since she was in pre-school)...The sports "politics" your friend is speaking of are when parents, coaches, or even school admin. do things in favor of one athlete sometimes based upon their skills, but more so based upon their last names, popularity or even how much "bling-bling" their fathers make! Sometimes these athletes are given "special" priveledges..take for instance the football "star" player who gets in trouble over the weekend for drinking, but is not "cut" from the team as stated in the rule book...just one example, but I could site many as I've seen a little bit of everything!

And some parents will even get into arguments at games with other parents...I've even seen them harrass the kids and call them obscene names! It really makes me sick to see a grown man red-faced and yelling at another parent that HIS kid is better! Just last year we had a woman here...a mother...who was arrested and told to stay away from any sporting events because she was harrassing the other parents! Amazing!..and SAD!

The years my husband coached basketball he was commended by many parents for being one of the most kind, caring, and unbiased coaches...we didn't let the "politics" interfere and in those 3-years only had one parent complain that their child wasn't getting enough playing time...another common thing that parents will throw in a coaches face! We were also active in coordinating a Parenting Sportsmanship class offered at our school for parents, coaches and umpires or refs...Personally I was very enlightened by this class and feel that in some schools it should be manditory for parents to attend! I swear, sometimes I see this bad behavior and I just wonder what in the heck that parent could be thinking!

Well, hope that helps answer your question...
TC!
LH
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 07:45:30 (EDT)
Phentermine
Phentermine
email: Phentermine
Hiwaii USAThursday, May 20, 2004 at 05:56:29 (EDT)
I am praying for baby Owen. When I was 3 I had encephilitis otherwise known as sleeping sickness. I came down with it after a bout with the measles. The Dr's said I had a one out of ten chance to live, and if I did live I would be a vegetable all of my life. My mother would come everyday to see me in the hospital, however, I only remember one visit. I was laying in my crib, (I remember seeing the bruised on the inside of my arm, from all of the shots and blood that was taken). My mother saw my tray of food on the tray in front of me. She asked the nurse why I haven't been fed yet. The nurse told her that when I get hungry I will eat it myself. My mother picked me up and took me home. I lay asleep for three months in and out of the hospital. When my mother took me home she force fed me malts. It wasn't until a couple of weeks that I said the first words in over three months. I said "I have to go potty". This was back in about 1959. I am 47 years old now, and was never a vegetable. Please, I am not saying to take your child out of the hospital. I am just saying there is hope. Don't ever give up hope. Baby Owen will be in my prayers.
Patti
Patti
email: krazymom316@aol.com
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 00:17:48 (EDT)
No one can help you darling because your post makes no sense. What is "womyn" and how does someone "learn you" something? GO BACK AND GET SOME MIDDLE SCHOOL EDUCATION! Your spelling and grammar puts you to shame.
Oscar
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 22:15:47 (EDT)
Ok, I have a question...I'm not a sports buff (except for FISHIN') so maybe this is why I don't get this..a womyn was telling me last night when I was out that she doesn't want her kids in sports because they're all about politics. Someone want to learn me this? ;-)
Saraj
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 20:20:43 (EDT)
JMO-they say things happen in 3's...keep your fingers crossed...

Cherokee-Wow...ya sure????? I still think you would make a fantastic nurse...maybe right now is just not a "good" time in your life to pursue it. You still have little ones and we all know that is a full time job in itself! Best of luck to you. Let us know how it goes when you give your notice at work!
Kerri
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 19:02:23 (EDT)
J-Mo - whew. I will keep praying for baby Owen and for his parents and for Junir. As for junior - has encephilitis been looked into? It is similiar to meningitis. It can be received through mosquitos and fleas. My neice, who was born 8 weeks premature to begin with, became sick with it when she had been home for about a month - about 2 months old. They at first thought it was meningitis.

Cherokee - It sounds like you really thought about what would be best for you and your family. Good for you.

Kerri - thanks for the post.

DD and I are getting ready to color some flash cards they printed out for the kids at pre-school. They are learning to count to ten in Spanish (she knows how to count to 8 in Spanish already) and in German. She can count to 16 in English - although she sometimes skips certain numbers ;o) so I don't know if that counts.

I am really frustrated with my mil right now. She is a hyperconriac (sp?) to the hilt. The woman has "had" MS, luekemia (although she wasn't diagnosed with it and she received no treatment and is fine now), several other smaller diseases, she had a tumor in her breast for real and had a double masectomy. Anyhow, she is also an alcoholic. Well, dh has had some health issues we have been investigating. Last week he decided to reschedule an apt because he wanted to work that day instead of going to his apt. He laid out his reasons why and he presented it to me, but he didn't ask for my opinion and I figure that he is an adult and I respect his right to make his own choices so I didn't argue with him. Well, I saw mil before dh did, and was the one to inform her of the rescheduled apt (she calls daily to check on him, I am sure she is planning his funeral). Apparently she had some very unkind things to say about me to my sil, who is also a good friend of mine. Sil defended me somewhat, but I feel like her defense was that I am weak and can't make my dh do anything, so what could they expect?? My feelings are very hurt. I don't know why, mil has complained about me not making dh lunches for work as well. That was a long time ago when I was working full time as well and he wasn't making me lunches either. Anyhow, she makes it clear to others that she doesn't think I take good enough care of him. Sil hurt my feelings as well, first by telling me (mil says I should be more like sil who tells her (now ex) dh what to do). My dh never does what I "tell" him to do anyhow, and I figure I'm not his mom, so I don't try to control him into things, it just causes fights. I don't know why sil felt compelled to share with me that my mil said she felt like reaching over and smacking me, or that mil compared the two of us, or that her defense of me was that I never make dh do anything. Maybe I am not understanding how she intended it to come across, but I didn't see the point, and now I just have more bad feelings about mil that I had thought I had gotten over.

Well, I am going to get on those flashcards now, and then clean house while dinner cooks. If I am lucky I will have time to work in my flower beds and do pilates before dd goes to bed, so I can work with my horses (of the rain holds off) after she is asleep.
TC
Margarita
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 18:42:55 (EDT)
WHEW! what a day...as some of you know, my cousin's baby boy is in ICU, just hours after birth because of breathing complications due to a hole in his diaphragm. as of today, they have decided that he will be operated on tomorrow. it's not a minor surgery, so we are praying he pulls through. i thank you all for your thoughts and prayers for baby Owen.

then this afternoon i got a phone call that my stepson was being rushed to the hospital. my husband and i met his mom there, where Jr. was suspected to have meningitis (sp?). they have done a spinal tap and tons of x-rays, bloodwork etc. as of this minute, we don't believe it to be bacterial menigitis anymore, perhaps just viral. and they feel 100% confident that if it IS viral men. they have caught it VERY early and he will be absolutely fine. he was improving before we left the hosp. my husband came home and made him some food (hosp. food SUCKS) and has gone back. so please pray for Junior too!

CHEROKEE< i will get an email to you shortly, but for now i just want to say i think you're doing the right thing! following your heart...good for you!

ladies, again thanks to those who are thinking of/praying for Owen and now Jr. i really appreciate the support. have a great nite.

PS LYNE< ready for bachelor finale??
j-mo mama
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 17:28:45 (EDT)
Melissa~LOL! He is not living her at ALL! His mother took him to court last year to emancipate him(he knows everything there is to know, refused to follow rules, etc.) and the judge would not allow it...Michael has no education(his choice), had no driver's license(he does now), and no job(has that too.) Given Michael's history, I would never put up with his behavior on a permanent basis(he is one of those kids that calls the police/DCFS every time he does not get his own way)....he really IS one of those kids that NEEDS to go out into the world, and get kicked in the ass by it. His child support will end on his birthday, and if he enrolls in college Jake will pay half of his tuition...but directly to the College Bursar's Office. He will not just give Michael the money, and THAT has Michael all po'd. Oh well....
angela
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 17:16:23 (EDT)
Angela~ That is great! I copied and sent to everyone I know I think!!! And regarding your 18 year old step-son, how about make him pay rent...even if you take your house payment and divide it by how many people who live there and then tell him that is what it cost to rent a spot in your house or you could tell him he is responsible for a portion of the utlitie bills, or at least groceries!! I certainly would not let him live there for free! He is 18, for goodness sakes!!!

Melissa
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 16:02:40 (EDT)
I too got something in an email I thought was cute. My husband has a son who will 18 on June 9th. I've talked before regarding Michael's grand sense of entitlement, and now that he will be 18 soon Michael has a job, but spends his money completely on himself(no helping mom with bills, gas, insurance), Michael goes to school--one night a week, and takes Intro to Computers at that(he was WEANED on a computer, now we have to PAY for him to take a class in it?--he dropped out of H.S. because he just "did not like it"!) AND he says he is tired of his mother harping on him(God forbid he chip in to the household HE is a part of) so he has decided he will come live with us(of course he has not asked us if that is o.k.) SO, needless to say Michael is going to start classes at what we adults call The School of Hard Knocks!LOL! A friend sent us this:


>To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice. Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a high school
about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings have created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept has
set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair--get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president
with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers in not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for
burger flipping--they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents fault, so don't whine about your mistakes--learn from
them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from
paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but LIFE HASN'T! In some schools
they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer.
This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
angela
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 13:50:58 (EDT)
Kerri, I haven’t really covered that topic in my writing, but I looked it up in some of my books and learned that a vaginal delivery is planned throughout pregnancy, but if the woman has an outbreak or even symptoms that an outbreak is about to occur (that’s called prodrome), a cesarian is recommended so that the baby isn’t put at risk of getting the herpes virus during delivery (talk about skin-to-skin contact!). It’s not harmful to the baby if the mother has outbreaks during pregnancy, just delivery. Most prescriptions given to people with herpes SHOULD NOT be taken while pregnant, which means the mother is likely to have more frequent outbreaks that last longer than if she were treating the virus suppressivly (every day) or episodically (start taking meds when there’s an outbreak).

Cherokee, wow, sounds like you’ve been doing some deep thinking. Congrats on making such a huge decision, and best of luck.

Barb
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 13:26:39 (EDT)
Kerri~ LOVE your post!!! I copied it and emailed it to everyone I know (hope you don't mind).

Cherokee~ CHICA!!! That is fantastic....and BTW, if you need a practicing "dummy" while you are in massage school I will be more than happy to let you fly me over there and let you practice on me!!!! LOL! But seriously, good for you honey! I think that it is fantastic what you are doing!! YOU GO GIRL!!!! ;-)
Melissa
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 13:20:14 (EDT)
WTG Cherokee! Sounds like your ready to move on into the next "phase" of your life! I wish you lots of luck and happiness! TC!
LH
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 13:03:38 (EDT)
Long post, so those with a schedule might wanna skip LOL

Alrighty gals, I've been laying pretty low of late, I have been deeeeeeepppp in thought LOL taking a long hard look at school, my life, my family, my career, who I am and my own self worth. And I have decided: I am MISERABLE in my job. I hate it. They had all of these offers out there about tuition reimbursement, BE A NURSE, DARE TO CARE posters etc...I am so disgusted with the hospital I work for (for various reasons I will not highlight here) and so disgusted right now with the medical field in general. I'm sick to death of watching babies die, drowning (3 in one weekend gals-anyone care to know what it feels like to do CPR on a 8, 6 and 2.5 year old only to have them die?) because nobody was paying attention to them around water, teenagers drug/rape each other, teenages kill each other UGH UGH UGH...I feel like screaming every time I leave work. Now, either I have difficult time channelling my anguish over the ugly in the world, or, hey, maybe this just isn't the field for me anymore. And that is ok right? I have done a lot of good in my life, I've saved a few people, which is a great feeling, and, being an EMT/Firefighter made me emotionally and physically strong...I've accomplished some physical feats that I never would have thought possible. But maybe it is time to move onto a calmer, more serene and tranquil environment. I'm getting tired of sirens, wailing parents, code alarms, and foul body fluids. You get the picture. There is a side of me (the healer) that really wants to have time to do my yoga, to explore a more natural and tranquil approach to medicine. Some of you are going to think I am absolutely NUTS but I'm just going to put this all out there...

I'm quitting my job. Like, tomorrow.

There is so much political b.s. at this place. Catty behavior....in the workplace. Last week, 3 women were in the nurses lounge TOTALLY gossipping. They said, "Hey, what do you think about...." I said "Oh, I dont' know him...I don't want to get involved in that stuff " and Kinda joked like my own life is nuts I don't have energy to worry about anyone else..." Next thing you know...it's out that I SAID ALL THAT STUFF...such b.s......very catty. Wouldn't have been that big of a deal, but they were talking about a manager. ;0/

Besides all of the above mentioned reasons, I was just advised that all the OT I worked last week is not OT, but straight time, as it wasn't an "approved" shift (never mind it was the clinical supervisor who called me in when I was 'on-call') They said I shouldn't be given on-call shifts if it means going to OT..duhh...why else go on call???? EGADS! Yesterday was the last straw. I mean the last. Now, I can fight all of this nonsense. But do I want to? No. Life is too short for constant bickering as I have to deal with here. I want to be surrounded by positive energy.

I'm going to work for ME. I'm going to get a massage therapy license, my own studio, and specialize in pregnancy/infant massage. No dying, no crying,(except happy tears), no overtime. Just nurturing pregnant women/new babes...Hours that work with my children. And, I will be centered, serene and happy. Now If I can just get enough student loans to cover the whole gig over the next year (four days per week for one year straight..it will be daunting but worth it.)

This is somethig I have always wanted to do...nursing was bold, noble and face it...I have a rescuer complex. My daughter has been telling me (she calls me granola girl..not because I eat a lot of granola, well, I do, but anyway...but because of the way I dress and my hair but her comment was "you've saved enough mom, you are burnt out just do something for you"...only 20 but a smartipants) The two year hiatus wasn't enough, I really want to do this.... I also want to develop this other side of me. Life is too short not to explore.
For some time, I have been very unhappy. I mean, I love being an EMT...it is a huge factor to developing the strong woman I am today...I'll keep my license current..but I want to experience and support the softer, healing side of medicine, especially after being so debilitated by cancer at one point in my life. Maybe I am having a mid life crisis? I don't know. I think of those as usually bad..but this is something great, positive and better than what I am doing now.

So...wish me luck. I have an appointment with an advisor at 4pm today. The next session starts May 31..and for once in my life...I'm just dropping EVERYTHING (except the babies of course :0)) and going for it.

So..thanks for e-listening...:0)


Cherokee
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 12:51:49 (EDT)
Kerri~No doubt! P.S. AMEN =0) I loved your post.
angela
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 12:35:16 (EDT)
Thought this cute to share...



THE LAW IS THE LAW
So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the
words "In God We Trust" to be on our money, then, so be it;
And if the Supreme Court determines that it is against the law
for the words "under God" to be in the Pledge of Allegiance, then, so be it;
And if the supreme court in their infinite wisdom decides that
it is okay to burn the flag which so many of our citizens have given up
Their lives for to protect and honor...so be it !!
And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments"
are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be It.
And since they already have prohibited any prayer in the
Schools, of which they deem their authority, then so be it.
BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE?

I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter.
I'd like the US Supreme Court to be in session on Christmas,
Good Friday & Easter as well as Sundays.
I'd like the Senate and the House of representatives to not have to
Worry about getting home for the "Christmas Break."
I'm thinking that a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved,
If all government offices & services would work on Christmas,
Good Friday & Easter. It shouldn't cost any overtime since those would
be just like any other days of the week to a government that is trying
to be "Politically correct." This would not affect any "non-governmental"
business since everyone else still has the freedom of religion, we could
all still enjoy our holidays So I guess if they continue to bow to the wishes
of the few, & If this e-mail gets out to the right people, maybe they would
bow to the wishes of the many.

So be it...........
Kerri
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 12:07:23 (EDT)
Thanks Wendy! It can turn "heated" here at any moment though, political question or not! While I do enjoy a silly question every now and then, it just seemed to me that with so much other interesting topics in the news at this time, it seems a shame to not take the time to discuss them...Oh well, maybe next time!

Hi Shawanda! I agree that we should support our troops and let them know we're behind them 110% every chance we get! God bless the USA AND our troops!! TC!
LH
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 11:27:21 (EDT)
Hi girls :) Milk here is 2.59 gallon, Chocolate milk is 3.29 gallon. Gas is still 2.05 here too. Bastards! lol
Lyne
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 10:34:51 (EDT)
Kerri~Yep, eggs too...those laying hens must be divas accustomed to a lavish lifestyle. Hee!Hee! Oh, cheese is spendy too...I always keep cheese slices, cheese cubes, etc. in the fridge too because my kids like to snack on it.
angela
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 09:36:21 (EDT)
YIKES, I hear you on the milk prices! Milk here is $3.49 a gallon...compared to the high gas price of $2.52 a gallon(what I paid on Monday). I hope I get a good raise to keep up with this inflation! :) Eggs have gone up also!
Kerri
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 09:28:29 (EDT)
LH You need to realize that not everyone wants to discuss those topics day by day. We had some heated conversations with the last political question so we use a silly question to calm the board inbetween. I am sure another topic that suits you will come up soon enough.
Wendy
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 09:23:07 (EDT)
Angela~I hear ya on the price of milk! It is absolutley silly. But I think that the price of everything is going to go up with the price of gas. Think about this.....the mild is shipped by those big 18-wheeler trucks, the truk drivers gas prices go up so the price of shipping goes up so the price of milk goes up! I think shortly everything will get more expensive! It sucks!
Melissa
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 09:12:32 (EDT)
Good morning all!

We've discussed the obscene price of gasoline here a few times...has anybody checked the price of milk lately? Sheesh! Jake had to run out last night to get a gallon of milk for breakfast this morning, and it was almost $4.00 a gallon! Granted, he had to go to Casey's for it, since the grocery store is 11 miles away, but it was the same brand (Blue Bunny) as we get at the store. For that price Jake says the milk better be sprinkled with gold dust. What can you do though? When we were stationed at Great Lakes, and bought our milk in the Commissary it cost $.99 per gallon, and now we have to buy our groceries on the economy and the price has increased almost 400 percent. What's up with that...have cows gotten to be *higher maintenance* or what? We go through a gallon of milk a DAY in hour house, and we'll go through even more when Dayton turns one next month and we introduce her to dairy milk, so that is almost $120 a month, in just MILK. Crazy. O.k....I'm done with THAT particular vent. =0)

Have great mornings all! TC.
angela
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 08:45:03 (EDT)
LH-

Oh how I agree with your post! When I was in the states it seems as though "some" Americans have become non-responsive to the attrocities that our men and women face on a daily basis in Iraq.

Freedom isn't free! Yet, it seems as though people go on with their lives without even giving thought to the hundreds of Americans who have lost their lives to protect the very freedom that we enjoy!

I pray that during the 4th of July, people give a special thought, meditation or whatever one does, to acknowledge and appreciate the jobs that many service men and women do unselfishly on a daily basis.

As I type this post, there are solider standing at the gate of our base, regardless of the weather, regardless of how they may be feeling, and regardless of what family situations that they may face! They protect us at all cost, even the ultimate, Their Lives. "No greater love that a man have that he will lay down his life for a friend."

God Bless our Troops! I love them and show them daily how much they are appreciated!

TC ALL....


Shawanda
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 07:33:00 (EDT)
Opps! Sorry...forgot to say the *magic* word!!

PLEASE???

LOL! Have a great day all! TC!
LH
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 07:21:41 (EDT)
Dear Iparenting...Iraqui prisoner abuse trials, the beheading of an American citizen, the 9-11 hearings, the Presidential election...so much to discuss and debate, but yet we get a question about a silly TV show? Come on Iparenting...wake up!!
LH
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 07:19:54 (EDT)
Hey ladies,

I've really been enjoying the topic on religion, God and belief.

As believers, we understand that Chirst died for the ransom of many (that's not all-so some people will perish). Another scripture, It is God's desire that none perish and all come to repentance (here again it is His desire, God never forces His will and gives every person the free-will to choose Him or not).

And last, "There is a way that seems right to man, but it leads to his distruction thereof."

I have learned that when one has hardened their hearts towards God ,and the believer's way of worshipping Him, it's better to go to people who want to hear His word than arguing a mute point with those who choose not to believe.

"He who have ears (spiritual thurst) let him hear."

Everyone is given the free will.
As I once heard a teenage girl tell her non-believing classmates (true story here on base, the girl is the daughter of a Chaplain). WE will see in the end. Don't scream for God then, because we had a lifetime to worship Him.

TC All...
Shawanda
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 02:38:05 (EDT)
"I... LOVE... TRASH" song by Steven Tyler of Aerosmith along with Oscar and the gang from Sesame Street. SaraJ-your dream boat is singing a song about you! "Anything dingy, and dirty, and dusty"...you must buy your two year old the CD...or 8 track if that is what you have.
CHI-Town is my town! I frequent there often...I must recommend the Ritz Carlton Hotel at Water Tower Place for your next gig.
Oscar
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 23:19:42 (EDT)
Melissa~ I will stand by my children no matter what route they take in life. We raise them in the ways we feel is the best for them, and ofcourse, aside from a few of our own human faults, we hope they continue to make those choices...but if they find other ways that make them happy be it religion, faith of any kind, or even being anti-choice...well, we will love them either way. We live next to a catholic church and we have "toured" it when it was empty before. I explined what the "stations" were and I explained the pews and the "holy" water and etc. We have even offered to take them to a sunday mass but they have not interest in going. (which I am happy about) My 5 year old likes to hear the church music...mostly the people singing on sunday when the doors are open. He is an amazing singer himself (the kid sounds like an adult), and he loves loves LOVEs music ! He's mostly into what we like...Godsmack (pardon the pun) and Aerosmith, and Puddle of Mudd..and etc...but he appreciates most all music. Our entire family does. I like a little Horowitz here and there myself. ;-)

Now as far as being agnostic and athiest...I have had some confusion on these. Once I was told that I was agnostic (a friend labeled me..i hate labels) and he said it was that I didn't believe in anything or anyone higher than myself. (which was fine by me) He told me that athiesm was the act of hating god. (I can't hate it if I don't believe in it!) Can anyone clarify what they know about this? It doesn't matter to much. Like I said, I hate labels.

Barb~ I often feel the same about death. My brain and my realism tells me that we go as worm food (I want to be buried in the dirt, no casket) but my heart wants to think there's some fun after death. Maybe a little spirit flying and watching the loved ones still alive. I go back and forth about the power of the mind and what we can accomplish...Einstein said we don't use much of our brain and if we could learn how, watch out! (in his own words, ofcourse) Yet, he was bright because of a birth defect in his own brain (failure of separation of the hemespheres in one area I believe) so he was kind of a freak of nature anyway.
I know that there are scientific reasons for euphoria just before death to make death easier, and for those who are medically brought "back" it can seem like a religious experience.
As tough as it is, I'm pretty certain when you're gone, you're gone. I can live with that.

Matt~ I think DH is for "dear husband" like DD is dear daughter and DS is dear son. I wonder if there is a DMIL?!?

Ugh...over 4 hours of driving today for this commercial audition in Chicago, and shortly after we arrive, my 2 year old looks at me and says "I don't wanna model mommy!" I told him that he said he would and that he had to try for the people who made the time slot for him. So, I get him all ready and he doesn't smile and he refuses to catch the beach ball. I couldn't understand it because he is usually just great! Well, as soon as we got back into the van he was out like a light. Poor kid wore himself out being so excited and trying to stay awake on the way there. DH had the other three kids at work all day and when they got home they said they all had a lot of fun...they got to eat out and they made a fort at the shop to watch tv in...etc etc...the day was soooooo long! At least the traffic was sane just before the Loop! :-) I guess Ant could still get the commercial because he was able to crack a smile for one shot...we'll have to wait and see.

I'm off for a brewsky with my birthday buddy...she's 30 today.

Night gals!






Saraj
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 21:25:29 (EDT)
Could someone tell me what a "DH" is? For your amusement, here are my guesses:
1) Designated Husband (perhaps my familiarity with basesball's designated hitters influenced this one)

2) and I'll bet against this one because I don't think you all have Divorced Hunks running around at home


Matt
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 18:45:55 (EDT)
Barb-Can a pregnant woman deliver a baby vaginally if she has herpes? Or does it have to be "active" for there to be problems?
Kerri
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 17:58:44 (EDT)
Wow! What great discussions we are having today!!!!!! And no bickering!!!!Wheee!! So this is what adult conversation is really like!!! I totally dig it!!! LOL
Melissa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOL, Melissa! Ditto on that!! Very refreshing!!:-)

Well, just stopped in to say HI...been a hectic start to the week for me and doesn't look to settle down anytime soon! Daughters prom is Saurday and I am readying the place up for the big "AFTER prom party"!! Looks like the hubby and I won't be getting much sleep that night! LOL!

Weren't those flip flops cute? I am thinking of making a pair like daughters although I can't stand to have anything between my toes! Oh well...

Well, better get back to the grind...looks like another thunderstorm is looming and I'll have to shut this thing down again...TC all!!
LH
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 16:48:19 (EDT)
Kerri, what can I tell you about herpes? I’m a fountain of knowledge on the topic, and if I don’t know the answer off the top of my head, I can find it for you. Some scary statistics: 1 out of 5 adults in the U.S. have genital herpes and 1 in 4 women in the U.S. has it! Whenever I see statistics like that, I shudder, because I think of me and a handful of friends, then think that statistically one of us has herpes (or with breast cancer, that 1 in 4 will get it; or with divorce, that 1 in 2 gets divorced, etc.). I know two people that have herpes, but I wonder about all the people I know that don’t advertise that kind of info, you know? Don’t worry, though, you can’t get it from a toilet seat, door handle, etc.

Anyways, my job is to write educational programs, and my latest one is herpes, which is why I know tons of stuff about it. The program I write will include stories about being healthy – eating right, managing stress, getting exercise – all while controlling herpes outbreaks and making sure they don’t pass it along to others (it’s aimed at adults).

Barb
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 16:17:50 (EDT)
Kerri~ I apologize if I put a phrase in there that did not belong. I guess I consider those who have no morals or not so good morals to be morally inept. I suppose I chose the incorrect words for that. I thought you were attributing the morals of this country going down with those who do not believe - maybe I misunderstood what you said and if that is the case I am truly sorry. I did not intend that at all. I agree with you though that SOME of those who do not believe probably can make poor decisions based on the fact that they feel they will not be judged for it at all. But not ALL, I think that we should be careful about generalizing all of those non-believers in to one group.
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 15:53:58 (EDT)
Melissa-I do not recall using the phrase "morally inept" in my paragraph. Nor did I say "everyone" who does not believe in God...what I am talking about is I think more people than not, can rationalize their actions more easily because they feel they answer only to themselves. I know there are many good people out there who do not belong to any specific religion, just as I have met some not so "Christian" like folks also who belong to a church. I am by no means generalizing everyone into one category. Life is not like that.
Barb, I would be interested in hearing more about your Herpes project. It was very sad for the mother of they child, as you can well imagine. It just makes it scary for me to think I am going to be raising my daughter in a world like this, where innocence is shed at such an early age. All I can do is hope that with her religious upbringing that she will make "good" choices.
Kerri
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 15:44:52 (EDT)
Barb~ I did not know that there was a word for those that are not convinced one way or another about God. So you are not completely a non-believer so to speak? That is interesting. I am with you on each person doing what is right for themselves. I think that throughout my days when I am faced with tough decisions I don't necessarily make those decision based upon what I think God would want me to do, I make the decisions based on what I want to do and what I can live with. But since I do have a friendship and relationship with God that shapes what I want and what I can live with. I guess it kinda goes hand in hand.

Wow! What great discussions we are having today!!!!!! And no bickering!!!!Wheee!! So this is what adult conversation is really like!!! I totally dig it!!! LOL
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:46:56 (EDT)
Kerri, we don’t lie, cheat, steal, etc. because it’s wrong. It doesn’t take a god to tell us that, we should just know that we wouldn’t like others doing that to us, so we don’t do it to them. Instead of being god-fearing, I just believe in myself. I couldn’t live with myself if I cheated on my husband… the guilt and feelings of disgust would kill me. I don’t need to worry about being judged someday, because I’m watchful enough of myself.

I agree that society is headed downhill, but I don’t think it has anything to do with religion. Religious people make bad decisions as fast as non-religious people. I agree that children need to be taught to respect adults, one another and themselves (and the environment!).

A 12-year-old with herpes? That’s so sad! (I currently work on a herpes project for work, so I know, in explicit detail, how this disease will affect children their entire lives, and it’s so sad to think that they’ve made a bad choice at such a young, young age that will affect them forever, but that’s a different topic.) I knew what oral sex was by middle school (and I went to Catholic school, to boot), but I never took part in it because my parents taught me to have respect for myself.

You are so right, Kerri, when you say that our country is wonderful because we have the ability to express our differences. And I’m glad to hear your opinion.


Melissa, what you said, “at least I am living my life for a good purpose and the worst thing that will happen is I will be happy and a good person” hits the nail on the head. You are doing what is right for you, and that’s the most important thing.

Agnostic means that I’m not convinced either way that there’s a god or not.

Barb
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:33:09 (EDT)
J-Mo~ (Goddess of Bermuda!) You crack me up!!! LOL
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:27:23 (EDT)
MELISSA, keep on sweetenin' me up and i'll send you the damn tickets! lol!!!
j-mo
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:24:47 (EDT)
J-Mo - LMAO!!!!! Great!! Now if dh and I can just work enough overtime to afford the plane tickets and the cost of diving while we are there!!!
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:20:21 (EDT)
MELISSA, flattery will get you EVERYWHERE with me, baby! i'm serious! you have totally just secured yourself accomodations when you visit bermuda! lol!!!
j-mo
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:18:06 (EDT)
J-Mo~ I have seen your picture I can't imagine it must take that much work! LOL Besides with a DH that looks like yours I don't think that I would care what anyone else thought about how I look! LOL - He's a hottie, who else can you possibly want to impress????!!! LOL
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:10:00 (EDT)
Kerri~ I do agree with you, however, I do not believe that all people who do not believe God are morally inept. There are those out there that do not believe and are still good people, such as Barb and I am sure there are others. However, there are people that do believe and DO believe. I think that we should watch out for generalizations when it comes to catagorizing believers and non-believers. I think that some people who DO NOT believe are able to make poor decisions and justify it with "Who will know?" But there are also a lot of people that DO believe that still make poor decisions and think that it is ok simply because "I can ask for forgiveness on Sunday". I guess I am not sure which I think is worse.
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:08:13 (EDT)
MELISSA< AMEN to that! and KERRI< well said, too!

i've been attempting to beautify myself once again today! haha, went to the salon and got my highlights done...i'm in a wedding on sunday so i gotta look good! funny how it requires more and more effort now to actually achieve that! lol!

hope everyone is having a great day!
j-mo
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:06:58 (EDT)
Barb, what is an agnostic? I have not heard that word before.

I recently read in "A Purpose Driven Life" that our time here on earth is just a temporary place for us until we actually go to spend eternity with God. To me that kindof puts my everyday problems in perspective. It used to really get my goat that my DH would not help around the house, but once I started thinking about this life as a temporary stopping place it just didn't seem to be that big of a deal to me. I do believe in God and all that I know of Him but I guess I look at it like this...if I am wrong and there is no God, Satan, Heaven or Hell, at least I am living my life for a good purpose and the worst thing that will happen is I will be happy and a good person. Of course believing is not the only way to accomplish those things. But it creates peace in me and I feel that it is the right way for me to live my life.

Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:03:10 (EDT)
I guess I am a believer that life on earth is to prepare us for the eternal life. If we are not good people here during this "trial" called LIFE, why should we be granted eternal life in Heaven? And with that goes morals. Do not kill, steal, lie, cheat, harm others...why? Because it is wrong and God will judge you on your personal judgment day. I think the thought of being judged someday helps people NOT rationalize poor decisions they make. If someone has no faith, in my opinion, it becomes easier for them to rationalize things and lie by saying "oh it won't matter if steal a little money from the safe at work...who will know?" Or "who cares if I cheat on my spouse...she/he won't find out". Well, that may be true, but someone WILL know if you are a believer in God, and hence hopefully not give into temptation. Or "it doesn't matter that this is my 4th marriage...if it doesn't work out, I can always divorce again!" Marriage vows are not taken with the same seriousness that they once had, why else is the awful statistic 60% now fail?(these are just quick examples that come to mind).
I personally feel that morals HAVE gone down since the birth of the "flower child" of the 60's. Along with that goes respect towards your fellow man/woman. Children no longer use respect when dealing with adults, they are now killing and having sex at younger and younger ages. (Example of this is I had a patient who was a 12 year old boy received genital Herpes from a girl who was giving him oral sex after school...turned out she had a cold sore). I don't know where you grew up, but I didn't even know what oral sex was until I was in high school!
I am going to stop now, because I can go on and on.
You have the complete freedom to agree with what I said or disagree. I guess that is what makes our country so wonderful...the ABILITY to have a different opinion and the ABILITY to express it. God Bless AMERICA. :)
Kerri
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 14:01:44 (EDT)
Melissa, I couldn’t agree with you more!

About death: I really don’t know what happens. Some days I feel that when someone dies, that’s it, caput, they’re worm food. Some days I feel like there has to be some kind of life after this one. That’s why I mostly consider myself agnostic, though I do have atheist days, too. Just the fact that I waver between the two shows that I don’t have all the answers. I mean, I LIKE to think that something divine happens to us when we die, but I’m not at all convinced. I definitely don’t believe in heaven or hell or pergatory.

If anything, I think that we continue to exist to those that love us. For example, my dad passed away seven months ago, and I still get very strong feelings about him. Like, I mean the way a thought, smell or even texture of something can bring back very strong memories. And I talk to him in my head. Why? I have no idea. I guess it makes me feel better, like he’s still listening. But no, there’s no saint meeting us at the gate of heaven, and there’s no rotting until you’ve paid for your sins in purgatory, and there’s no burning for all of eternity in hell.

Barb
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 13:35:21 (EDT)
Barb~ I am so glad that we are able to have different views and still respect each other for it. I feel it is important for me to try to learn about other ways of life and other beliefs. I think that this world would be a super boring place if we only knew about our own lives and never looked to learn about others. So out of curiosity, what do you believe happens when someone dies?
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 13:04:51 (EDT)
Barb -

My husband is, so that's the faith we practice as a family.

Ellie
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 12:01:52 (EDT)
Thank you for answering my question, Ellie. I’m glad you enjoy your traditions so much. It sounds familiar to me… are you Catholic?

Barb
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 11:54:04 (EDT)
Melissa, I didn’t take your comments the wrong way. I’m not offended or defensive about what you said. Actually, I appreciate your questions and comments and your show of respect. I fully respect you, as well. To each their own!

Barb
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 11:51:12 (EDT)
Barb -

I respect your right to believe as you do. But you asked: Do people talk about God on Christmas and Easter? Yes, many of us do. We don't spend the entire day in deep contemplation of the religious significance of the day, but we do know what it is we're celebrating. We build to Christmas with the weekly lighting of the Advent wreath and the recitation of prayers and the rosary. We have an Advent calendar that reflects the nativity, not some scene of Santa Claus. We attend Mass on Christmas morning, and we read the story of the birth of Christ from the Gospel. All of that is done before a gift is opened. In the week before Easter, we celebrate Palm Sunday Mass, and follow up with a Holy Thursday commemoration of the Last Supper, Good Friday services recalling the crucifixion, Easter Vigil on Saturday night and Easter morning Mass on Sunday. And at least once, we listen to Bach's St. Mattew Passion. We celebrate both holidays with family and we have a great deal of fun with good food and entertainment, but in no way have we lost sight of the reason behind them.

Ellie
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 11:47:27 (EDT)
Melissa~I understand what you are saying. I agree with you too in another aspect...in order to raise a child Pro-Choice, they must have the choice to make up their mind in all aspects of their lives, and that includes giving them the information so they can have a choice in whether to worship God or not.
angela
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 11:44:03 (EDT)
Barb~ I guess on the one hand I can sortof understand where you are coming from. I too, am very grateful for the time I get to spend with my family. And no, my family is not very vocal about their beliefs either, and I don't push them to be. I have heard on more than one occassion from other believers that children rarely spritiually exceed their parents. I am glad that I have. I don't look down upon anyone for what they do or do not believe I think that is a choice that everyone must for themselves. I think that maybe my questions have been taken the wrong way. As I have said I am merely curious about somethings being that I have just recently tried to renew my friendship with God. I am not and was not trying to start any kind of religious arguement or battle of beliefs. I hope that you and everyone else can understand. I do respect the right to choose religious beliefs or a lack thereof.
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 11:40:27 (EDT)
Melissa, I do the same thing Saraj does. Both those holidays have always been about family time (though I grew up in a Catholic house). Think about it: we get time off work, every person around us is buying gifts and planning parties. We do the same, only we don’t go to church or even talk about god (do people talk about god on X-mas or Easter? My family never did growing up).

Instead, we exchange gifts and have our own traditions, like cooking and playing board games, etc. I mean, even some Jewish people I know celebrate Christmas because it’s recognized nationally, but I’m sure they don’t change their religious thoughts because of it, and that’s just fine. I appreciate the time with my family, for whatever reason I get it.

Barb
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 11:19:25 (EDT)
Barb~ I agree, you don't have to be a believer in God to be a good person. I respect your decision not to believe, that is your choice. I am glad to hear that you would not hold back your children if they should show an interest in the topic. I guess my hugest confusion is not believing in God and celebrating Christmas and Easter. I don't know if that is the case in your home but I know that Saraj said that her family celebrates both but yet they don't believe in God...I guess that much I don't understand.
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 11:05:22 (EDT)
Kerri, I’ve said it before, and now I have to say it again because you made a blanket statement about agnostics and atheists: People who don’t believe in god have nothing to do with the downfall of society. I don’t believe in god, yet I still have high morals and the same values as most of the people on this board! And I’m not alone, either. I know plenty of people like me who are loving, caring, upstanding people who just happen to agree with me on the god topic.

Melissa, I don’t think raising my daughter to believe in god (or fear him, as most people do) is right, since I’d be teaching her something that I feel is passionately not true. My husband and I have agreed that we will not hold her back if she shows an interest in the topic, and we’ll answer her questions as honestly and correctly as we can. We will teach her spirituality, which, to me, is having peaceful time with your thoughts and we will teach her to be a good person. It doesn’t take someone who’s pro-god to live a happy, successful and fulfilling life.

Barb
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 10:57:17 (EDT)
Kerri~ I agree 100%, I think that children should at least be introduced to the word of God and then as they become older let them choose for themselves. I don't think that it is fair to a child to shut God out of their young lives.
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 10:25:14 (EDT)
Good morning all,
SC-Congratulations on your new little bundle of joy. Is this your first?

Melissa-unfortunately nowadays there are many "saraj's" in the world who hold the same beliefs as she does. Is it no wonder how morals and values in society as a whole have decreased? I think it is sad for a parent to not at least introduce God into his/her life. When they become adults let them choose for themselves, for it is harder to seek faith as an adult vs a child.

Angela-thanks for filling out the survey. :)
Kerri
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 10:06:42 (EDT)
Good morning all!

SC~Congratulations on your baby girl! Life only gets BETTER now!

Margarita~You mentioned a "Female Dead Poets Society"...were you talking about Mona Lisa Smile by chance? I watched that movie with Jake, and I thought "this is JUST like Dead Poets Society" the whole time I watched it! LOL!

I have to run....{{{HUGS}}} to all! TC.
angela
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 09:37:44 (EDT)
Good morning to all! I hope that everyone is having a great day. Hi's to Angela, Cherokee (I did send you a reply to your email, please share it with anyone who you may have been referring to in your email to me - hugs), J-Mo Mama, Ellie, Lyne, and anyone else I missed.

Saraj~ I am glad that you are able to respect the fact that people do have religion in their life, even if you don't believe in it yourself. However, on the subject of church...most of my family doesn't actually go to church but that doesn't mean they don't believe. I only recently started attending church and renewing my friendship with God, but I have always always believed. I think that it is sad that some children are not exposed to the word of God, but then again, they are your children and you have absolute right to raise them anyway you see fit, and I respect that. I do hope however, if your children ever reach a point in their life that they do become curious about the Lord that you will point them in the direction of a good minister or pastor in your area, but then again being pro-choice and all you would allow your children to CHOOSE what they would like to believe.
Melissa
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 09:31:05 (EDT)