Becoming a mother means different things to different women. Some feel it is a rite of passage into womanhood, while others see it as the fulfillment of a lifelong dream, and still others find it part blessing and part curse. One thing most moms agree upon is that becoming a mother is a life-changing event, after which you will never be the same.

So on the one day a year we celebrate moms in all their glory, iParenting wanted to know what mothers really want from their special day. We were curious if moms were satisfied with the standard Mother’s Day gifts – candy, flowers – or if they were looking for more extravagant items – appliances, trips – or did they just want some time to themselves? We surveyed our audience and received an overwhelming number of responses (you moms really have opinions on this subject!).

Here’s what moms really want for Mother’s Day:

• Overall, what mothers want is to be recognized. On this day, Mom wants a card that expresses how you feel about her, and to know that you appreciate how much she does each day of the year. More than anything else, moms want their loved ones to share what’s in their hearts – whether this is through a store-bought card or a homemade one, a written expression of your devotion is priority No. 1.

  Last year, only one-quarter of our moms said they received cards, yet half rank this as the top item they want. So head to your local card shop, or get out your paints and markers – pronto!

• The next most popular choice for a Mother’s Day present is the gift of pampering. Yes, Mom wants a day at the spa! Whether she gets her nails done or a full-body massage, Mom wants some time to herself to ease those aches and pains – both physical and mental.

  Last year, only 2 percent of moms received this gift, yet 40 percent rank it as their gift of choice! Find a local day spa – even a salon will do – and buy a gift certificate. Better yet: Book the appointment so she has no excuse not to go!

• Next in line is a night on the town. Whether with her husband or with a girlfriend, Mom wants to go out to dinner and see a movie!

  Last year, only 6 percent of moms were treated to a night out, yet nearly 40 percent say this is their top pick. Local malls now have movie theaters adjacent to restaurants. Buy some tickets in advance, get a babysitter and take her out. Remember to let her pick the movie!

• The old stand-by, flowers, held its ground by ranking next. Roses, tulips, gardenias, lilies, a spring bouquet – any colorful or sweet-smelling flowers will do. There’s just something about flowers that makes a woman feel special.

  Last year, 20 percent of moms received flowers, and one-third of our moms report that they’d like some this year. Whether you get them at the Farmer’s Market, the flower shop or even the grocery store, just get them!

• Time alone: Most moms have next to none. No wonder it’s rated as one of the gifts Mom would like this year. Maybe she’ll take a long bath, read a juicy novel or just go for a walk. It’s not that she doesn’t love you – she just needs some space!

  Last year, a measly 3 percent of moms got some alone time, and one-third of them want that time to themselves this year. Make up a certificate for some “Mommy Time" and tuck it into the card you’re giving her. You’ll make Mom one happy camper!

• Mom is hungry, and she doesn’t want to be the one to cook. She wants breakfast in bed!

  Last year, only 4 percent of moms were treated to breakfast in bed, while one-quarter of them would like the royal treatment this year. Our suggestion: Let her sleep in, then have the kids wake her gently with the smell of coffee or tea, orange juice, fresh fruit and something warm from the oven. That is a memory she will cherish forever. Check out RecipesToday.com for food ideas.

• Some of our moms haven’t had a vacation in a while, and they think Mother’s Day is the right time to do it! While exotic trips are nice, moms are practical people. Even if it’s a trip to a local hotel with you, that’s a getaway to treasure!

  Last year, only 1 percent of our moms received a trip for Mother’s Day, yet 15 percent would like one this year. Think out of the box – take a trip! Visit TravelingToday.com for destination ideas.

• Yes, chocolate still rates. You know women: Chocolate is never very far from our thoughts. We’ll certainly take a box if none of the above is do-able.

  Last year, 3 percent of moms received chocolate for Mother’s Day, and only 10 percent would like it this year. Many of us are likely trying to reduce calories by cutting back!

• Appliances made the list, but just barely. Not many moms want a new gadget to help them cook or clean better – not on Mother’s Day, anyway! This is a day to celebrate moms and remind them of how special they are; they don’t want to be reminded of housework.

  Last year, 2 percent of our moms received an appliance, and only 7 percent would want another this year. Spend the money on spa services instead!

• The last item on our list is simply nothing. We asked moms if they wanted anything at all, and a couple actually said no! While these women may be saints, they are in the teeny tiny minority. Note: Your wife or mother is probably not in this group!

  Last year, nearly one-third of our moms received nothing for Mother’s Day. And not surprisingly, only 2 percent reported that they want nothing again this year! Take the hint: Nothing will not do!

It’s clear what moms want: your love and appreciation. This can be as simple as a heart drawn on a card, your child’s handprints on paper or a greeting card embellished with your thoughts. It can be as generous as breakfast in bed followed by time alone for a bath, culminating in dinner and a show. It can be as elaborate as a trip for two to the tropics.

The bottom line is, whatever you do, if you do it with love, Mom will remember it forever.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Want to see more?

• Read past issues of Webmother's Musings.
• Meet other parents like you!
• Get the new iParenting Activity Calendar.
• Make your own personal Web page!
• iParenting Resources Index