Today’s kids are exposed to much more sexual imagery than we were as children. From TV and movies to music and even toys, our kids live in a society that encourages them to grow up too fast. While blame may be placed on the media, actors and product manufacturers, the reality is that we as parents have to take the ultimate responsibility for protecting our children’s innocence and ensuring they grow up knowing how to make positive choices.

It may be easier said than done, but there are ways to raise healthy kids in a sexual world:

• Take control. Kids need limits and it’s the parents’ job to set boundaries on what kids are allowed to see and do. While the whining or protesting of a child denied a trendy toy or TV show may be annoying, it’s far better than giving in and exposing your child to too much, too soon. Protect their innocence as long as you can and then help them understand this confusing world of ours when they are mature enough to handle it.
• You’re a parent, not a friend. Many parents give in to kids’ demands for toys, TV or movies because they fear their child won’t like them if they don’t. The reality is that parents serve a much different role than “friend." You’re there to raise your children so they can grow into competent and healthy adults. You’re not there to be best buddies and live in harmony all the time. The good news is that kids respect parents more when parents set limits and show kids where the boundaries are. In the long run, your relationship will be better off.
• Be there. Kids look to parents for guidance and you have to let your kids know you’re physically there for them. If you can’t be around, make sure a trusted caregiver is there instead. You can’t expect kids to always make good decisions if they’re left on their own.
• Communicate with an open mind. Initiate conversations with your children about sex when you feel they’re old enough to handle it. It’s better that they hear about it from you first rather than classmates or the media and that they understand your values on the subject. When talking about sex, be matter-of-fact about it. Remember to use language that kids can understand, and use the correct words for body parts to avoid confusion. Kids need to feel they can talk openly and without fear, and this happens when parents are positive and encouraging even when confronted with tough questions.
• Listen up. Remember that part of communication is being a good listener. Be patient, really hear your children and respond to their questions honestly. Allow your children to speak at their own pace and don’t rush through the conversation.
• Television tips. Allow your kids only one to two hours per day of television that you closely monitor. Make sure the programming is age-appropriate and that they can’t change the channel if you step out of the room momentarily. If you stumble upon a program involving sexuality, use it as a springboard to talk about sex with your child. Kids should not have TVs in their rooms and they should not watch programs designed for adults. Consider having your child watch educational videos or DVDs instead.
• Movie tips. Kids are innocent and they depend on us to make the best decisions that will impact their lives and how they see the world. Even though you may want to see the newest action movie, you’ll have to find a way to do that without your kids. The best way to make sure a movie is appropriate is to watch it yourself before taking your kids.
• Toy tips. Make sure that your kids are playing with age-appropriate toys and those that are not sexually suggestive. While your kids are young, you control what they purchase, so let them know what you think is appropriate and what’s not. Don’t buy anything you feel is not suited for kids their age – no matter how popular it may be. If they receive inappropriate toys as gifts, simply return them to the store where purchased and find something better suited to them. If you can’t return it, “lose it" in some other way!
• Internet savvy. The Web is an incredible resource but also a haven for sexual predators. Make sure your children cannot access the Internet without you being present, or if they can, purchase software designed to give parents control over what sites kids can view.

Protect your kids on the Internet with this iParenting Media Award-winning software: www.cyberpatrol.com. Check out a movie’s rating before you take your kids: www.filmratings.com.

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