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Home › Webmother's Musings

An Agent for the Kids

Being an Advocate for Your Child

By Elisa Ast All

"Mom, schedule a play date with Emma, and I'll be taking my gymnastics lesson at 1:00 p.m. Until then, hold all my calls."

Ever notice how our kids are like celebrities? Yes, they are our stars – and they can act every bit as diva-like as those Hollywood screen idols that are household names. But I'm talking about the power our little VIPs have in the agent that is you, their mom or dad.

Yes, you are your child's agent, and so much more. You are his publicist, his attorney, his personal assistant, his trainer, his chef, his stylist – the entire entourage. You are there to make sure all goes as it should, and that your "client" receives everything he needs to be able to perform his very important job of growing up healthy and happy.

This job entails long hours and short pay. It's entry level – but there is no glass ceiling. It is what you make of it, and if you do it right, your child will go all the way to the top.

Outside of Hollywood, we call this role being an advocate for your child. And, because it is so encompassing, it's probably the most important job we have as parents.

When your child is a newborn, you advocate for her health and wellness by facilitating frequent doctor visits, arranging outings and stimulating her senses in every way you can. Since your child can't speak for herself, your role is vital in ensuring that her life gets off to a good start. As Baby grows into a toddler and preschooler, the job gets harder. You're arranging play dates, classes and healthcare, among many other activities.

School-age children are arguably the most important age group for which to be an advocate. You must ensure that your child's educational, social and emotional needs are being met in a variety of settings. This may involve coordinating with school principals and teachers; outside counselors, instructors or therapists; babysitters; parents from all walks of life; and kids who may be parented much differently than you parent.

In each situation involving your child, it is your job to ascertain that he is receiving what he needs to thrive. For me personally, my role as advocate is a day-in and day-out process that fluidly morphs itself into what it needs to be at each moment in time. It has been as easy as clearing up a misconception, and as difficult as doing battle over educational issues and medical procedures. There are beautiful days when things work out as they should with little effort, and there are ugly days when – even when I've given it all I've got – my child ends up with the short end of the stick. On the ugly days, I remind myself that without my extra effort, things would have surely turned out worse.

One thing I have learned for certain is that without my being an advocate – if I had sat back and accepted what had been in play – my children would have suffered. It is by virtue of the advocacy that they are able to be the little stars that they are – and enjoy the fruit of their agent's work.

To become more of an advocate for your child, learn more about the National PTA: www.pta.org.