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Home › Webmother's Musings

Great Grandparents Are a Gift to Children

By Elisa Ast All

My family just celebrated my grandmother's 94th birthday. For 35 of her 94 years, I've had the privilege of seeing our family matriarch age gracefully before my eyes. Grandma is much thinner than she used to be and she has at least one line on her face for every year of her life, but there is a steely strength in her weathered eyes and her grip is as firm as my own. She makes 94 look good.

I've had the opportunity to absorb our family history by listening to her recount real-life stories (that are more incredible than fiction), and to grow from her experiences. Each time I see her, I learn yet another life lesson. On her 94th birthday, I discovered Grandma's secret to longevity: staying active. Grandma is extremely proud that she still lives in her own home, which she cleans and cares for by herself. She is adamant about retaining her independence and her mobility, which is admirable and frightening all at once.

My grandparents emigrated from Croatia to a small town in downstate Illinois in 1949 with three young boys in tow: my father and two uncles. After surviving four years of the hardships of World War II, they arrived in the United States ready to embody the American dream, and they did: Grandpa and Grandma started their own custom cabinet shop, where they worked incredibly long hours building a business to provide for their family. They grew roots that will flourish for years to come: My uncle now runs the cabinet shop and someday that honor will go to my cousins.

After Grandpa died in 1988, Grandma showed even greater strength as the family's nucleus. The central figure of all family gatherings, Grandma taught me the importance of drive, patience, commitment and loyalty. She taught me the value of hard work, and for this I will be forever grateful.

But what I appreciate most about Grandma is what she means to my own children. It's not often that young children experience a meaningful relationship with their great grandparents, so I encourage my kids to soak in as much as they can. My son, CJ, in particular, seems to grasp that Grandma is becoming fragile and he must treat her with care. However, that doesn't stop him from giving her great big bear hugs when he sees her. Our twin girls, Cassie and Jules, need to be restrained a bit when they see Great Grandma so they don't literally bowl her over.

Through the years the kids have sampled Great Grandma's "old world" cooking (they love the apple strudel but would rather not partake in the cabbage rolls bathed in sauerkraut), heard numerous stories of the family's flight from war-torn Europe and experienced conversations in a language they don't understand. They have watched Great Grandma crochet intricate lace doilies, whip up several varieties of homemade Christmas cookies and prepare jam with fruit they helped pick from her own garden. These are memories I want my children to cherish.

Even if some of these moments are forgotten over time, it is my hope that the spirit of Great Grandma's way of life remains a part of them always. Her very presence in their lives is a gift they will keep in their hearts forever.

Grandparents have their own community online, filled with information and inspiration on grandparenting: iParenting's Grandparents Channel.