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Home › Webmother's Musings

Making Kids Feel Special, One Day at a Time

By Elisa Ast All

It's a typical Saturday morning at home. We go downstairs to make a leisurely breakfast since today there is no mad rush to inhale cereal or chug orange juice in order to get kids to school on time.

"I want an egg sandwich," CJ announces.

"I want oatmeal," Jules retorts.

"But it's my special day – I get to decide!" Cassie reminds them.

And she's right. Today is her special day and she will make many of the decisions for the family.

Cassie smiles when I validate her assertion. "Can we please have pancakes?" she asks, and Dad grabs the ingredients. CJ and Jules happily accept her decision since they know it's Cassie's day. As she helps mix the pancake batter, Cassie is feeling mighty special indeed.

The "special day" concept is nothing new – schools often use it to provide children with their own time in which to bring a snack or show and tell and be the classroom celebrity for the day. And its use in the home is becoming more popular, especially among families with two or more children, where kids don't get as much individual attention as parents would like to give them.

For our family, special days are meant to give each child a chance to shine, to be empowered by making decisions and to think creatively for unique things to do on the weekends. From making meals at home and trying different restaurants to exploring new parks and playing seasonal sports, the special day kid's voice is heard loud and clear.

A few rules of play: Special days only happen on Saturdays and Sundays, and we keep the same rotation unless there is an event or holiday that overrides it. Kids are allowed to make decisions involving food and fun, but not involving issues of safety or expense. Even though it may be someone's special day, Mom and Dad are always the ultimate authority and kids are required to follow all family rules.

Special days have resulted in treks to museums, malls and theaters and at-home activities such as baking, gardening and crafts. We have done things with others and for others, which expands the horizons of everyone involved. The kids are learning to take responsibility for themselves and for family members and to make good decisions.

The end result is the weaving of positive experiences into the tapestry of childhood memories and children going to sleep at night feeling extra special. In the words of CJ on his last special day and on the special day before that one: "This was the best day of my life!"