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Home › Webmother's Musings

Finding Work and Family Balance

Moms Sound off on How It Can Be Done

By Elisa Ast All

Many parents look for ways to be as involved in the lives of their children as they can be, without sacrificing personal aspirations. These parents strive each day to balance their children's needs with the needs of home and career. While most can attest that it's not an easy feat, it's a lifestyle choice that is becoming increasingly popular for personal and financial reasons. And the "experts" – both parents and professionals – agree that it can be done in a positive and healthy way.

"More than ever I am finding parents are trying to create a more even balance between their careers and their kids," says Mimi Doe, author of Busy but Balanced (St. Martin's Press) and founder of www.SpiritualParenting.com. "They tell me they realize how quickly their kids grow up, and in a scary world they want to raise 'good' kids who are close to their family."

To achieve this, some parents choose careers that allow them to be flexible, or to be on the same schedule as their children. Others opt to start new businesses that capitalize on their ability to provide a product or service for which others will pay. Those in the corporate world can utilize alternative work schedules, job-sharing, flex time and telecommuting to their advantage.

"Because I have a job with so much flexibility in scheduling, I have been able to tailor my hours to the specific needs of my family," says Laura Blattner, a music teacher and mother of two. "I am able to work one afternoon a week while my children are with a sitter, and my remaining hours I have scheduled for Saturday mornings, when my husband is able to be with the children."

Laurie Dove is the mother of three who works as a senior associate editor for iParenting Media. "There are days when I spend more time with my children, because they need more from me, and there are days I spend more time working, because they are content," she says. " If I know I am going to be particularly busy, I invite them to play at a grandparent's for the day."

For these moms, work is a financial necessity. However, they are fortunate to have careers they truly love, lessening any feelings of guilt they may have over not spending every moment with their children.

"Because my profession is such a part of who I am, I find it especially invigorating to help others learn about something I so passionately enjoy," Blattner says. "I would say 95 percent of the time, I don't feel guilty for working, but there is always that 5 percent, when I have to miss my daughter's soccer game or when my toddler just can't seem to part with me for a few hours. But I also realize that I am happier and more balanced when I have a chance to use my professional skills on a regular basis!"

Dove notes that whenever feelings of guilt creep in, she finds time to focus on her kids. "I must admit, however, that I don't often feel guilty about working," she says. "I think it's important for children to see their mother doing something she loves for herself, to learn to respect her time and to eventually be inspired themselves. That said, it never hurts to surprise them with a day off and an impromptu trip to the zoo!"

Doe says that today's kids are processing more than ever before, and finding family balance can help steer children in the right direction. "...the meaning behind terrorist attacks, the implications of going to war, and a sniper randomly killing innocent people," she says. "[Children] need an 'inner compass' from which to base their actions and decisions, one that parents cannot force upon their kids but can foster within them."

For more on balancing work and family, visit iParenting's Moms Channel and Dads Channel.